Page 93 of Kingmakers, Year Two

The weather warms rapidly as we move into spring. Students start throwing more parties out of doors, down at the Moon Beach and in the River Bottoms.

I’ve received three extremely nasty letters from my father after my cousins reported me attending those parties. I crumpled the letters up and threw them away half-read. It might be madness, but I’m starting to think that the plan Miles and I formulated might actually work, which makes me uncharacteristically reckless.

Either way, my father can’t touch me here. He could punish me over the summer. But if Miles’ visit is successful after the school year ends . . . everything will change.

I’m trying not to hope. Trying not even to think about it.

Which isn’t that difficult, because my mind is filled with Miles himself. I’ve never had such a difficult time paying attention in class. Every minute that we’re apart I’m fantasizing about sneaking away with him again. I’m picturing his crooked smile, his low, mocking laugh, his clear gray eyes that remind me of steel, of smoke, of early morning light . . .

I’m picturing his body with his rich, nut-brown skin and his dense muscle, his warm flesh and his even warmer hands that grip and manipulate me like a doll in his arms, while I’m carried away on waves of pleasure that are steep and endless . . .

I had never been happy before, not really. I never knew what it felt like.

Happiness is exhilarating, intoxicating. I’m drunk on it. It makes me believe I can do anything. It makes me believe that everything will be okay.

It’s changing me. And it’s changing Miles, too.

“I’ve never seen him like this,” Anna tells me. “I’m not saying he was a dick before—I mean, he was always nice to me. When he felt like it. But he was obsessed with doing everything his own way, without help. Everybody’s his friend and everybody owes him favors, but ultimately it was about Miles and what he wanted. You’re bringing out the best in him, Zoe. Giving him something to care about outside of himself.”

“I don’t know about that,” I say, blushing. “I’m not trying to change him. I like him exactly as he is.”

Anna laughs. “Oh you do, do you? Have you forgotten the Miles of last year? You really must be falling hard.”

I stare at her open-mouthed. Ihadactually forgotten that I disliked Miles in my Freshman year. It seems impossible now, like I was a completely different person. Somebody uptight and miserable, which of course is true.

“I hope you keep liking him.” Anna smiles at me. “We could be family.”

The idea hits me like a bolt of pure joy. Anna and Leo as actual family, not just friends . . . Miles as my family . . .

I want it. I want it so badly that it feels like it will tear me apart.

“Are you coming out with us tonight?” I ask Anna.

“I wish I could,” she sighs. “I have three different papers due. Leo’s gonna keep me company in the library, though I shouldn’t let him. He’s more distracting than helpful.”

“Come join us later if you can?—”

Chay interrupts us, barging into the room with arms laden with books. She dumps them down on her bed, crying, “Fuck class! Fuck homework! When’s our picnic?”

“In an hour,” I laugh. “Lend me something cute to wear.”

Chay, Ozzy, Miles, and I planned to have a picnic down outside the school grounds. I was hoping Anna and Leo could join us too, but it sounds like they’ll be occupied in the same manner as Cat, drowning in midterm papers.

Anna helps us get ready anyway, picking out a pair of jeans and boots for me to wear. Chay lends me an oversized Queen shirt. I can’t borrow pants from Chay because she’s so much shorter that they’d fit more like capris.

“Let me do your makeup,” Chay demands.

“Not too much…”

“I never do too much! Onyou. . .” Chay amends, laughing.

Chay gives me a nice subtle smoky eye and a little lip gloss. I pull my hair up in a messy ponytail. With the band shirt and Anna’s boots, I feel a tiny bit rockstar. I like it. I never felt “cool” in my life before I met these girls.

Chay spends forty minutes more redoing her own elaborate makeup, until I’m fidgeting with impatience and almost pulling her out the door.

“Alright, alright!” she says, “I’m coming!”

Chay looks surprisingly sweet and feminine in a white summer dress, cardigan, and espadrilles. The pink streaks have faded from her hair, so now it’s just a soft fluffy mane of her usual strawberry blonde, which contrasts nicely against her golden tan.

---