Page 27 of Claim Me

Caveman grins. “Back in the day, my sister loved to flirt. Winifred would bat her eyes at every man around. Plenty of fuckers made a play for her. Every time those fellas showed up for a date, my family would scare them off. Then, one day, Elvis O’Malley got it in his fat head to woo my sister. I had other plans for the asshole.”

I stare at Caveman and wonder why he’s always making things more difficult. He loves to fuck with Zoot who has zero sense of humor about anything. They often wrestle and punch each other. Caveman could sit back and enjoy life, but he likes stirring up shit.He really is an asshole.

“The O’Malley brothers were troublemakers. They came from losers. Elvis was the worst of them. He joked around a lot. I didn’t trust him at all. Even as a teenager, I knew the assholes who hid their assholeness were the worst kind of assholes. I was ready to make Elvis’s life miserable.”

I don’t know why his words make me tense. It’s not as if his antics from decades ago matter. Caveman didn’t keep Aunt Fred and Elvis apart, yet I’m still irritated by how he might have ruined everything with his behavior.

“I gave Elvis hell that first time he came to pick up Winifred. At one point, I was even ready to set the smartass on fire. Despite our best efforts, he didn’t run away or lash out. Elvis just kept smiling and waited for his prize. That’s when I learned there are two kinds of assholes. Some were like Zoot and me, unable to change even a tiny bit. Then, there were assholes like Elvis who could soften his edges enough for people to get close.”

“Elvis is the dad I always wanted,” I mutter, feeling territorial now. “He was never an asshole.”

“You met him as a kid looking for a home. Of course, you’re bound to romanticize him. But I can see clearly, and I think you and him are the same kind of assholes.”

When I stare at the ground for long enough, Caveman bumps me. “Siobhan is a lot like her mom. If Winifred could love Elvis, there’s no reason why my niece can’t love you.”

“She’s just lonely.”

Caveman startles me by laughing. “Boyo, you’re stupid as fuck if you believe a woman like Siobhan isn’t lonely by choice. If she didn’t want you, she wouldn’t settle. But maybe you can’t see her clearly.”

“She wants Sync.”

“They hooked up young. Once she made the leap into his bed, she was stuck. Not like she could ride a few more bikers at the farm to be sure. She held on, even after he started trying to knock her off. It was love, for sure, but it wasyounglove. You’re not a young man like Sync was when he had his shot with Siobhan. You know what you want. I bet you’re willing to soften your jagged edges to make your heart safe for Siobhan and the twins.”

“I’d give her anything,” I say, glancing at the spot where I lost a part of my heart.

“Don’t be a wuss, though. Siobhan needs a man who stands up for himself. That’s why she likes bikers. Elvis might be a goofy fuck with his dancing and joking around, but he isn’t weak. He knows when to take charge.”

“What if I don’t?”

“You’ve gotten through life just fine without anyone holding your hand. Why does this thing with my niece need to be the exception?”

“I don’t understand how women work.”

“They work in the same way men work. Some are crazy. Some are evil. Most are complicated with bad and good days. Now, I know you had a crazy mom. Lorrie was several people wrapped into one. That confused you, but you’re old enough to realize she was just bipolar. Not a monster. Just a young woman with a loopy brain. But you’re not your mom.”

“What if Siobhan gets pregnant and the kid is like my mom?” I ask, feeling guilty whenever I think of the baby we made together.

“Then, you take care of the kid, get it help, let it feel safe. Just imagine if someone had done that for Lorrie. Your mom got unlucky, but your kid can have a whole different future ahead of it.”

Exhaling deeply, I hide my face in my hands and try to see past all the noise in my head.

“I love Siobhan. I like everything about her. Even those annoying things she does like flip out over nothing make me happy. I even like her lazy cooking. She makes the world better, and I want to be in her life. But as soon as I picture myself at her house or with her girls, things get mucked up.”

“That’s all bullshit in your head. If I thought like that, I wouldn’t have these weirdo kids in my house. I’d never run the Hills Chapter. Hell, I never would have gotten out from behind my mama’s skirt as a boy. You’re not weak, Indigo, but you’ve gotten spoiled. As a kid, you helped your mom and took care of your little brother. You were a tough little fucker. I still remember the first time I saw you. I knew you had a steel spine.”

“But you sent me to the farm because I was fucked up.”

“No, I sent you because you needed a mama, and I refuse to put on a dress for anyone.”

Chuckling at his bullshit, I think back to the night Caveman entered my life. I’d been in the back seat of our dumpy car with Bubby. Lorrie was making money in the only way she knew how. I heard her bumping up against the trunk as the guy thrust into her. Bubby started crying. He was cold and hungry. The only thing we had eaten in days was scavenged from Lorrie’s dumpster diving.

My mom was in a panic over our lack of money. She had started doing her apocalyptic talk, saying we would see God soon. Lorrie had been trying to find someone to give her money all day. When the man showed up, I saw hope in her eyes. Back then, I didn’t understand how Lorrie was a prostitute. However, I knew after the men were done with her, we had money and got to eat.

Except that night, after the guy finished, Lorrie wasn’t happy.

“It was a hundred,” I heard her say near the trunk. “This is just a twenty. Are you screwing me? I’ve got kids to feed, you asshole.”

Sometimes, I used to get lost in my head. I’d forget to go to the bathroom or eat, oblivious to my body’s signals. Other times, I was a live wire, reacting to everything around me.

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