Page 21 of Totally Opposed

“Think of a situation you would want to run away from, like you’re in the woods and there is a giant feral bear, and it’s running right for you. You want to run away, right? Protect yourself.”

“Depends what kind of bear is it? Some bears you should stand your ground and scream at it to scare them off.”

“Okay, a crazy axe-murderer is running after you trying to kill you. Your whole body would be trying to get away, right?”

“I had this nightmare once I was being chased by a guy with a chainsaw, like in that movie, fuck that was scary.”

“Okay, great, well, the water, the pool, that is my chainsaw murderer.”

“Shit. So your brain is screaming for you to run and your legs want to take off and your heart is racing?” he asks, and he presses his hand against my chest.

“Exactly,” I reply, but my words come out quieter than I expect.

“But you don’t want to get out now?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because when you look at the water, it’s like you’re home, and if something can make you so happy, I don’t think I should let my mind see it only as something that wants to try to kill me.”

“Okay, then we stay in the water. We come every day until it gets easier, until it isn’t a chainsaw murderer anymore. We’ll take it slow. Aim for a lesser evil every time. What is a level down from a chainsaw murderer?”

“Precious.”

***

We’ve been at the pool every day for a week, and this is the furthest I’ve gotten into the water. My shoulders just peek out, but now and then he shifts, sending the surface washing over them, and I don’t hate it. We’ve been walking back and forth, talking for twenty minutes. Another five and I’ll get out and watch him swim a few laps before we head to the field.

I never thought I would ever have the courage to face my fear of the water. It’s been twenty years since Nial pulled me out, and I hadn’t been back in, but in a week, Ryan Tanner has me practically neck deep again.

Reaching the side, Ryan leans his back against it, still holding my hand, and as I move in close, I reach past him with my free hand to grip the edge.

“Thank you for this,” I say, and his smile has those adorable deep dimples drawing my eye.

He turns his head to look at my hand, then his gaze follows my arm along to my shoulder, his big blue eyes shining brighter with the water’s reflection, and when his stare moves to my mouth, and he licks his lips, I do something I really shouldn’t. I lean in and kiss him.

Chapter nine

Ryan

Holy fucking shit. Alan’smouth is hot against my lips, and when his tongue plunges into my mouth, my stomach swirls. I sweep my free hand through the water until it finds the small of his back, and I pull him closer. His other hand grips mine tightly at our side, fingers laced together, my pulse beating so hard it’s sure to make ripples in the water around us.

He’s still gripping the edge of the pool, and my hand tightly, like he’s worried that if he lets go, he could be swept away. As soon as I saw his hesitation to even enter the water, I wasn’t going to push him to swim with me. There had to be trauma there. Something from his past that had created this long-lasting fear. But he did get into the water. He got in with me, and he trusted me to let go of the edge. Sure, only for a few steps, and then his free hand reached past me and gripped so tight I thought he might climb out, but he didn’t. He came back. Every day this week he came back, and every day he trusted me to take him further.

He breaks the kiss far too soon.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he whispers, eyes still closed, chest heaving in time with my own.

“Why?”

I always thought his eyes were brown, but with the water reflecting in them they appear almost forest green, and when his lips pick up a little at the corner into a sort of half smile, I can’t help but lean in and kiss him again. Just a small kiss. And I keep my eyes open and locked on his when I do it, too.

“I think it was a great idea,” I say, and the smile widens.

“But we work together. Sort of. Saying we play together sounded too weird in my head, but we do.”

I know I’d like toplaywith him some more. My cock is seriously tenting my swim shorts. Good thing the old ladies are not doing their water aerobics today.

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