Page 90 of Mad Love

The next week and a half goes by quickly. I’ve had a really hard time with this whole online business. I haven’t looked any of it up, knowing it’ll make me spiral too hard. After we had sex that first time, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops that we were together. Joan’s call put a huge damper on that, but thank goodness, she caught it in time and warned us.

Weston doesn’t want to keep our relationship a secret at all, but I think because I already feel guilty about loving the father of my sister’s baby, I’ve jumped on Joan’s advice and welcomed the pause. It’s not like I need to go anywhere with him anyway. I can get my social interactions with other people in when he’s at practices or traveling, and we’ll spend time together at home.

It’s better this way.

But I’m going to have a hard time missing out on the games.

I wanted to see how the two of us did while Weston was traveling anyway, so we’ll see how it goes. This weekend is his first away game. If we survive this season, keeping our relationship a secret…well, I’m scared to even hope right now. He’ll be leaving in just a little while, and I’m trying to not show any nerves. Since Weston’s call with Joan, I’ve just been coasting. I can’t keep my hands off of him, so that hasn’t changed, but I’m uneasy. I don’t have the same lightness that I had for that small window of time.

I think he senses my uneasiness, trying to make me laugh as we walk outside for a picnic with Caleb. We cross the bridge over the lake and once we’re past it, he pauses and sets down our things, tugging my hand in his and pulling me toward him. He leans in for a kiss and before I know it, he’s tilting me back, dipping me low as we kiss. We’re both laughing as he lifts me back up, Caleb clapping his hands at us.

“You look so beautiful,” Weston whispers, his eyes still on me.

We kiss once more before he lifts me back up. We put a blanket on the grass, and Weston runs back into the house, saying he needs to grab something. He takes Caleb with him and when they come back, Weston’s carrying a huge bouquet of flowers and Caleb’s holding a peony that’s almost as big as he is.

Weston hands me the flowers and nudges Caleb. “Go ahead, give it to Mama.”

Caleb holds it out for me and I take it, my heart melting.

“Thank you. These are beautiful. I’ve never seen such pretty flowers.” Peonies and dahlias and hydrangeas with silver threads woven throughout the flowers. It’s stunning.

“That’s Calliope from The Enchanted Florist. She’s fun and a little eccentric, and her flower shop is an experience. I’ll take you there sometime,” Weston says.

He jogs off to steer Caleb back in our direction before he sits on the blanket next to me. Caleb’s crawling everywhere these days and he crawls up to get a bite of strawberry or cheese and then crawls off. Weston’s up and down, chasing after him. Every time Weston catches up with him, swooping him up and kissing his neck, Caleb throws his head back and cackles.

I love how happy he is.

“God, he’s cute,” Weston says. He sits down beside me with Caleb in his lap and leans in for a kiss. “And so are you.”

I laugh when Caleb gives me an open mouth kiss.

“Just like his daddy,” I say.

Weston pokes my side and I yelp.

“He better not walk while I’m gone,” he says.

“He’s not going to yet…at least I hope not. I’m not ready for that.” I laugh. “No walking yet,” I tell Caleb, bopping his nose. He blinks with each bop and grins.

“Nonono,” he says. His head falls back on Weston’s chest and his eyelids are heavy.

“Hey, little sleepyhead. Should I put you to bed?” Weston says in Caleb’s ear.

Caleb’s eyes drift closed and Weston chuckles.

“There’s my answer,” he says. “I’ll be back.”

“You don’t have much longer. I’ll take this in while you’re putting him down.”

He pokes out his lips and stands. “I was enjoying the picnic.”

“There will be more,” I promise.

Later, I’m in the bathroom, and he comes up behind me and puts his hands on my hips, kissing my neck.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he says against my skin.

He props his head on my shoulder and looks at me in the mirror. We’ve had a lot of sex in front of this mirror and it’s like a Pavlovian response now when we’re looking at each other in it.

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