Page 89 of Mad Love

“I try not to read what everyone’s saying, good or bad.”

“Smart boy.”

“But I’d like to know what we’re dealing with here.”

She sighs. “Okay. They’re saying things like Sadie and Sasha are both gold diggers and that Sadie should be ashamed for going after her sister’s man…and the worst…are we sure Sasha’s car accident was really an accident? And it’s the way it usually is with athletes and the media—they’re going after Sadie the hardest.” She pauses and I can hear a car honking in the background. “You want my two cents? I’d recommend you give it at least another…how long has it been? Seven months? I’d give it a good five months before I’d be seen with her publicly, and?—”

“That’s the rest of the season,” I interrupt, heated.

“I’m just telling you what I think you should do. You don’t have to take my advice, but if you don’t, I hope Sadie has thick skin.”

“Fuck.” I tug my hair hard and walk to the pool, pacing around it. “Sasha was a one-night stand. I only met her the one time. I was drinking too much and she came on to me at a party and I went with it. I can’t regret that night because I have Caleb, but there wasnevergoing to be anything else between me and Sasha. If I’d met her even a few months later, when I wasn’t being so reckless and stupid, I would’ve turned her down like I have the hundreds of other women who have offered to sleep with me since then.”

I hear Caleb and turn to see Sadie and Caleb in their swimsuits. Sadie’s pale and I don’t know how much she heard, but enough to upset her.

“I have to go, Joan. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“All right. Let me know if you want me to do anything in the meantime.”

“Thanks.”

I hang up and look at Sadie carefully. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Fromfuckon. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but you sounded so upset, I rushed to see if you were hurt or something and then I sort of froze when I heard the rest,” she says.

“I’m sorry. I was angry and I shouldn’t have said any of that. You look really upset and rightfully so. Which part is upsetting you most?” I move toward her and pause when she takes a step back.

“All of it?” She laughs and her eyes fill with tears. “And no, I don’t. I have no right to be upset about any of it.” She shakes her head and wipes her face quickly when the tears start falling. “The way you talked about Sasha. You’ve never said any of it quite that way to me before, and it makes me wonder what you really thought of her. It’s like I’m torn in two with how to feel about it. I want you to have liked my sister as a person, but I’m in love with you and I don’t want you to have ever liked her…but you have a baby together!”

She takes a deep breath and a choked sob comes out of her. I want to put my arms around her and make this go away, but I also feel warm inside because she said she’s in love with me.

“And hundreds of women? Hundreds? How am I supposed to ever compete with that?”

Caleb looks at her solemnly and pats her cheek. “Mama.”

She hugs him closer and cries harder.

“There’s no competition. I only want you,” I say.

“Why would you even say all of that to Joan? What’s going on?”

I exhale and move toward her, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I’ll tell you, but I want to make sure you heard me. You don’t have to compete with anyone. I loveyou.”

“We’ll see how you feel when you’re traveling and all amped up the way you were last night, only I’m not there to fuck all night.”

It stings a little that she’d think she was only a body for me last night, but I know she’s just hurt right now.

“I’ve never had a night with anyone like ours last night,” I tell her. “Nothing even close. This is crass, but I was a one-and-done kind of guy. And I hope this doesn’t sound negative about Sasha, but we were both only there for a good time that night. I know I’ve said this before, but I want you to understand that even if I met Sasha today, I don’t think she would be what I would look for in a partner. There has been no one that I’ve wanted anything more with…no one, Sadie, until you.”

She takes a deep breath and sits down on one of the loungers. I sit on the one across from her and tell her about the rest of my conversation with Joan.

And fuck my life, she agrees with Joan and wants to keep our relationship a secret.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

COASTING

SADIE

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