Page 78 of Mad Love

I smile now and pick up one of her journals and open it, laughing out loud when I see what’s written inside the cover.

Sadie, if you ever read this, I am going to laugh so hard.

See? A book this pretty is meant to be read!

I look at the date of the first entry and it’s probably a year after she found my first journal.

She would’ve been fifteen and I would’ve been seventeen.

Her first line gets right to the point.

I want to lose my virginity by fifteen since I found out from Sadie’s journal that she lost hers at sixteen. She might be smarter and more mature than me, but I’m sexier. Right, Sadie? Wink, wink.

Sadie will probably never read this because she’s a better person than I am, but I hope she does! Then she can get off her high horse about me reading hers. Mine is going to be so much more exciting than hers anyway. All she talks about is school and studying and grades and about Jake and Ian and Charlie. I’m glad she lost her virginity to Charlie though. He’s the hottest guy in high school and loaded, so it shouldn’t even matter that the sex wasn’t better than it was. If she’d dated him a little longer, I bet he would’ve given her killer presents.

Okay, seriously, my journal isn’t going to be about Sadie. It’s going to be about MY exciting life.

So, anyway, if I’m going to lose my virginity while I’m fifteen, I only have like four months left to make it happen.

Here are the options and in the order I’d prefer:

1. Charlie—what? It’s not like Sade’s dating him anymore! And I want to see what kind of gifts he’d give me. And as I said before, he’s the hottest guy in high school. I bet he’s learned a few things since last year.

2. Jon Paul. He has more acne than I’m comfortable with, but he’s R-I-C-H. Good gifts, plus I’ve heard he has an amazing pool.

3. Aaron. He’s hotter than Jon Paul but not as rich, so that’s why he’s last.

I groan, but I’ve laughed as I’ve been reading too. This is Sasha to a T. She was sassy and irreverent and so funny…and rotten.

God, I miss her.

There is a large stack of journals. I didn’t look through any of them at the apartment, just stuck them in a big box. She wrote in more journals than I ever did, and I laugh and cry reading her thoughts. I read almost all of the first one and fall asleep, happy that I have a lot more to read once this is done.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

MADLY

Four months later

WESTON

The night before our first game of the season, I stretch out on the bed and pick up my phone to call Sadie. Even though I live closeto the stadium, we’re required to stay in a hotel by ourselves the night before a game, whether it’s a home game or an away game.

I went through withdrawals from Sadie and Caleb when I started training camp, but that was easier than this because I still went home to the two of them every night.

I was raw for a few weeks after I shared my feelings for Sadie with the guys, but it was also a relief to get it off of my chest, and it opened my eyes to how deep my feelings really went. It’s only gotten harder to not cross any boundaries, to not let her see how she affects me, to not look at her too long, to not kiss her…damn, I deserve a gold medal for all my restraint.

We’ve gotten so much closer to each other than we were all those months ago. Not only are we in the trenches together with raising Caleb—never has it been more obvious than when he was sick for the first time. We were exhausted and Sadie didn’t complain once about any of it. She tirelessly took care of him, rarely taking a break even when I tried to make her rest. She cried when she heard his awful cough, and I don’t think she’d ever been more beautiful to me than in that moment. But her walls have come down with me too, not just when it comes to Caleb.

We discuss everything and she makes me laugh all the time.

She’s the first person I want to tell anything, and the last voice I want to hear every night. I feel like part of me is missing whenever we’re apart.

She’s my best friend, and I’m madly in love with her.

It’s going to be really hard to be away from her.

I FaceTimed earlier when Caleb was still up and that was fun. He saysDadaandMamanow andgogfor Felicity’s dog Chewy. At first I could tell it concerned Sadie that he called her Mama. She said she’d read that that’s a word that babies just start out saying.

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