Page 65 of Mad Love

SADIE

Oh God. What did we just do?

I can’t even focus on one of my favorite movies because…thatkiss…the way he made me feel. We didn’t even have sex, but it was the most intense experience I’ve ever had.

I’m not sure how I keep sitting here next to him because my whole body is feverish and I want nothing more than to rewind and jump back on his lap and get more of that. But I laughquietly at the appropriate parts and absentmindedly grab things from the charcuterie board in a desperate attempt to pretend that this is normal.

I can do this. I can pretend like that was just a flash of hormones going haywire and not because I want Weston Shaw more than my next breath.

I’m sure it really was just hormones for him. He’s said it himself—it’s been a while for him. That’s all this is.

We both know it can never happen again.

I try not to wallow in my sadness that this was a one-time thing.

Don’t be so pathetic, I tell myself. It was a mind-blowing make-out session, but that’s all it was.

And we will act like it never happened.

We clear off the tray and Weston refills our wine glasses. When the movie is over, my head feels muddled and I wish I hadn’t eaten so much. I jump up and grab our glasses.

“I can take care of this,” he says.

“I don’t mind.”

We carry everything upstairs and I wash the glasses and board while Weston dries.

“I think we should talk about it,” Weston says softly.

“Mmm. I don’t think so.” I shake my head.

“What if I want to?”

“I think it’s awkward now, but it’ll be different in the morning. I say we just forget it ever happened and?—”

“Sadie, I don’t think I can forget it. And I don’t want to.”

I turn to look at him and he’s staring down at me with what I can only describe as hunger.

“There’s too much at stake for us to mess around with this,” I whisper.

He runs his hand through his hair and looks away.

“What are you afraid of?” he asks, when his eyes meet mine again.

“I’m afraid of losing what we have…and I also feel like I am betraying my sister.”

“Even if you put aside what we’re building here together, what just happened between us is so much bigger, so muchmorethan anything that happened with Sasha.”

When I don’t say anything, he nods.

“Okay, we won’t do anything,” he says. His head tilts when he looks at me again. “But it won’t change the way I’m feeling. And that was…incredible.”

My breath hitches and he stares at my mouth.

“Yes,” I whisper.

I move past him and take the stairs two at a time.

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