Page 41 of Mad Love

“No, we’re not talking about that,” I say.

“But I really want to,” Rhodes says with a mock pout.

“Me too. I’d love to talk about that,” Penn chimes in.

“Too fucking bad.” I stand and toss my napkin on the table. “Thanks for coming out today. I think it really meant a lot to Sadie that you all were there.”

“Wait. Don’t forget this.” Rhodes holds up the blue notebook they’ve been writing in. It says The Single Dad Playbook in large block letters on the front. “I had to take it home to finish my entry. We’ll add to it when we meet again.”

“Thanks.” I take it from him and wave it slightly. “Can’t wait to see the nuggets of wisdom in this thing,” I tease, but I’m actually looking forward to seeing what they’ve come up with so far.

“You’re leaving?” Bowie asks. He gets up and squeezes my shoulder.

“Yeah, I need to get home.”

“He’s got a beautiful woman to get home to. I’d be rushing off too,” Rhodes says, laughing under his breath.

“We’re not going there,” I say, lifting my hand. “I don’t even see her that way.”

Bowie’s eyebrows lift.

“Really?” Rhodes says, looking thunderstruck. He leans over the table and whispers loudly, “She has curves for days, man. That ass in those jeans and her tits are the perfect?—”

I slam my hand down on the table.

“Enough,” I say a little too loudly.

I glance around, grateful that we’re in a little alcove to ourselves.

When I turn back to look at the table, I point at Rhodes. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

Rhodes looks satisfied.

“That’s what I thought,” he says, smirking.

I groan and get out of there.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

REPERTOIRE AND DRINKS

SADIE

For at least three weeks following the funeral, I’m in a fog. I thought I was dealing with losing Sasha and what that meant for my future and Caleb’s, but I don’t think I had even scratched the surface yet.

It all comes crashing down. It’s a struggle to get out of bed. I feel weak and sick and everything hurts. I can’t eat. All I want to do is sleep, but I force myself to stay awake to see Caleb.

Weston hovers nearby, trying to get me to eat and asking if I want to go on a walk or if there’s anything he can do. He’s been thoughtful, but he’s also given me space when I’ve needed it. I don’t know how he knows when I’ve hit my limit with being around people while I’m grieving, but he’s observant and perceptive. I don’t know why I keep being surprised by him, but I am.

I went to work twice and both times I started crying and couldn’t stop, so Kim sent me home. But now she’s starting to call again, asking when I’ll be back. I’m too deep in this dark pit to call her back.

Weston’s covered the nights and the three of us are together most days. I know he’s worn out, but he hasn’t said a negative word about it. He and Caleb have bonded with all this time together. When Weston walks into the room, Caleb rocks back and forth, excited and reaching for him. I can see how ecstatic it makes Weston and it makes me happy for him, and yet, I can’t help but feel like it makes me lose my sister a little more each day. Caleb won’t even remember her. And at the rate I’m going with him, he’s not going to remember me either if I don’t step it up pretty soon.

I take a long shower and put jeans and a sweater on, a step up from the leggings and baggy sweatshirts I’ve been wearing every day.

When I walk upstairs, I can hear Weston singing to Caleb. I smile when I hear that it’s “Houdini” by Dua Lipa. This guy’s musical repertoire is bizarre, to say the least. Once I reach the kitchen, I see Weston playing peek-a-boo as he’s singing. Caleb throws his head back and cackles, and Weston’s laughing too. When Caleb lets out a really loud laugh, Weston loses it and can’t keep singing because he’s laughing so hard. A laugh bursts out of me, and Weston turns in surprise. His eyes light up when hesees me, and I almost retreat back down the stairs. I don’t want to ruin the mood with my sadness.

His face falls when he sees my expression and he holds out his hand. “Hey, come join us.”

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