Page 12 of Mad Love

“He took the bottles from me before, but he’s used to nursing by now,” I tell her.

“Would you like me to try?” Dana asks.

I nod, reluctantly handing him to her. She sits down on the couch and gets him bundled up before trying the bottle again. He settles in her arms as soon as he’s bundled and starts drinking the bottle when she lifts it to his lips.

“Some babies love to be swaddled,” Dana says.

I curse under my breath. I knew Caleb liked that—Sasha always swaddled him—but I was so nervous around Weston, I didn’t even think about it.

“You made that look easy,” Weston says.

Dana laughs, her pretty eyes locked on Weston.

“I’ll show you how to do it when he’s done eating. It’s easy,” she says.

She stares at Weston for a long time and then sees me noticing and looks down at Caleb. Weston watches Caleb eat, his expression wistful.

When Weston feels my eyes on him, he clears his throat and besides the sound of Caleb drinking his bottle, the room gets quiet. After Caleb’s fed, Dana changes his diaper and wraps him back up. Weston studies her technique so intently, Dana flushes with the attention and her hands are shaking by the time she finishes.

I roll my eyes, and Weston happens to catch that and his eyes narrow on me, his jaw clenching.

“Let me know if you need anything else. The doctor will be in shortly, I think, to discuss Caleb’s discharge, but just press that button if you need me.” She smiles at Weston and I’m not sure she even still remembers I’m in the room.

Pretty boy over here just breathes and women fall all over themselves. It’s quite sickening really.

When she leaves the room, we look at Caleb for a few minutes and his eyes are already closing to take another nap.

“He sleeps a lot,” Weston whispers. “Well, not as much at two this morning.”

“Right. Sasha was trying to get him on more of a schedule, but it hasn’t worked very well yet.”

The truth is,I’vebeen trying to get Sasha to work on his schedule. She’s always been a night owl and since she isn’t working, she stays up all night with him and then they want to sleep all day.

She’s gonehits me all over again.

My phone buzzes and I’m both relieved and devastated to see that it’s my parents. I hold up my phone. “My parents. I need to take this.”

He nods and I leave the room, bracing myself for this conversation.

“Hello?” I answer.

“Sorry, honey, we’ve been camping and haven’t had cell service. Is everything all right?” my mom asks.

I hear my aunt and uncle laughing in the background and hate that I’m about to turn my mom’s life upside down.

“No, Mom. There was an accident.”

She gasps and I talk over her.

“Caleb is okay, but Sasha…” My voice breaks and I start sobbing. “Mom, Mom, Sasha…she didn’t make it.”

It’s quiet for a second and then I hear her cries. My dad takes the phone.

I go to some kind of numb place as I tell him the details I know. Sasha slid on ice and hit another car. Caleb’s not hurt and neither was the other driver. Sasha’s gone.

My dad’s voice is hollow when he finally says they’ll start driving back right away. It’ll be a little over twelve hours, but they’ll drive straight through.

I’m not sure how long I stand there after we hang up, and when I go back into the room, Weston looks at me pensively but doesn’t say anything. I realize then that I didn’t tell my parents about Weston.

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