Page 11 of Mad Love

I sit for another few seconds waiting, but when I realize she’s not going to say anything else, I finish my coffee and set the cup down. I’m leaning against the wall facing Caleb’s bed and she sits on the small couch next to him. I move to the chair she was in earlier, so I don’t tower over her.

But then she opens her mouth and the words gush out, knocking me sideways.

“I’ve been with him every step of the way,” she says softly. She takes a deep breath and her voice comes back stronger. “I felt his kicks, I read him books while my sister was pregnant, I was there when he took his first breath. I was the first face hesaw.” Her face crumbles as she cries. “I’ve worked nonstop to make sure he had a roof over his head. I just lost my sister and now you want to take Caleb from me too?”

“I understand, Sadie, but he’s my son and I’ve already missed out on so much. I never felt those kicks. I missed reading books to him, missed hearing his first breath…my face should’ve been one of the first he saw…”

Her face has already turned thunderous and I lift my hand, hoping to stop whatever she thinks I’m about to say.

“I don’t want to keep you from seeing him.” The words rush out.

Her mouth opens and closes, and her vivid blue eyes suddenly look violet in the bright light of the morning. Or maybe that’s the tears in them that make them so startling.

“I don’t know anything about him…or you…or Sasha. But I want to. I think we could work together to give him the best life possible?—”

She wipes her face when a tear drips down her cheek. “How do you see that working?”

It sounds more like an accusation than a question, and I pause, trying not to go into defense mode.

“Well, where do you live?” I ask.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

An edge of frustration creeps into my tone. “I live in Silver Hills. I’m trying to figure out how far you are from me, if your job is by your house…what it would look like to do this.”

“Do what?” she snaps.

“Raise Caleb!” I curse under my breath when Caleb wakes up and starts crying.

I try to put his pacifier in, but this time, he spits it out and wails.

Sadie stands up and starts mixing a bottle. When it’s ready, she moves to pick him up.

“Can I give him the bottle?” I ask.

She takes a deep breath like I’m trying her very last nerve and I take a deep breath of my own because she’s starting to try mine too.

CHAPTER FOUR

MEET IN THE MIDDLE

SADIE

I back up, holding my hand out for him to take the baby, and he steps closer and carefully picks him up. He holds him awkwardly, still tentative with him, and Caleb looks tiny in Weston’s large hands. Caleb’s face is red now and I don’t want him to be miserable.

“Hurry.” I point to the bottle and Weston is still trying to get him situated in his arms. “Here, put this arm underneath so he feels secure. And make sure to watch his head.”

Weston shoots me a grateful look and then grabs the bottle, shaking it a little like he’s seen me do. He sits down and gives Caleb the bottle and Caleb stops crying for a second and then turns his head, crying harder than before.

“What am I doing wrong?” he asks.

“I don’t know. Sasha only nurses him…nursed.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Maybe just try putting the nipple near his lips and see if he’ll latch onto it.”

Weston’s cheeks turn pink and the more he tries, the harder Caleb cries. He stands and holds him out for me to take. I motion for him to put him on my left side and when I have him in my arms, he hands me the bottle. Caleb fusses for me too, but I just keep teasing his lips with the nipple and he’s hungry, so he eventually drinks a little.

He’s cried so hard though, he gets the hiccups and I put him on my shoulder, trying to burp him. He cries and cries and a nurse comes in with a sympathetic smile.

“I’m Dana. My shift just started and I’ll be checking on Caleb until he’s discharged. Anything I can do to help?”

---