Page 58 of Redeeming Heart

“Yeah, of course.”

“I never thought I would crave being part of a team again until I saw you and your team out on the ice. Subconsciously, I already know I was going to accept coach Peterson’s offer, but my mind just didn’t know it, yet.”

“Hockey will always be a big part of me and it would be against my nature to ignore it.”

I caught his smile.

“I am sure I am not the only person who is thrilled to see you back on the field.”

“I believe you are the only one,” I remarked, my voice laced with a sparkle of sarcasm.

Fans look at me as if I am a disgrace and ruin the sports when I just disappeared without a word. Every night I wonder how any of them would have reacted and if they would have handled my situation differently?

“People will always have an opinion, but none of them is sweating the hard tears or is on that field doing what the rest of us are doing. We are athletes who are doing this because we are passionate, not all of us are in it for the money.” Brandon’s comment reminded me of my mother who felt that people started to misuse their opinions.

“My mom always believed you keep your opinions to yourself when you’ve got nothing to say, but I think the world stopped thinking like that because they want their voices and opinions to be heard, forgetting their proper manners along the way.”

He agreed with a nod and a small smile.

“I’m sorry about your mom, Adams.” He began, standing up from the bar.

“You must have probably heard it a billion times.” He added, placing down a few dollars on the counter and pushing it over to me.

“I have, but none of them was as sincere,” I noted, accepting his tip.

“See you around,” He winked at me and left.

I rolled up the dollar notes before slipping them into my apron and getting through this shift. Aunt Maggie hasn’t said a word since I arrived at the pub and I had a feeling she was hiding from me, feeling insecure about what I witnessed a few days ago.

I went to go see her in her office when my shift has ended. She was working through her ledgers making sure she avoided me.

“You have to acknowledge me at some point,” I said, leaning my shoulder against the wall and crossing my ankles over each other.

I watched her hand come to a halt, but she didn’t look at me.

“Every year on my birthday, I lock myself in my room and sleep. I come out at night when everyone is asleep, go over to the nearest store that is open 24/7, and buy myself a few cupcakes. Head over to mom’s grave and sit there eating the cupcakes by myself while talking to her tombstone.”

“Each year, I got picked up by the police, and never once have my father realized what day it was because all he cared about was that I woke him up.” By now she was looking at me.

“We all deal with our pain differently but that doesn’t mean we have to avoid each other because we fear judgment. I will never judge you for the pain you are going through because I understand.” I noted.

“I just feel extremely ashamed, Sasha. I never imagined you witnessing when I am at the lowest point of my life.” She explained.

I pushed myself and headed over to her, squatting down in front of her and resting my hands on her lap.

“We are family. We get to cry and mourn together.”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “You are such a gift to this godforsaken world.” She muttered softly.

“Nah, I think law enforcement and the rest of the world will disagree with you.” I snickered when she gave me a weak slap.

“Have you not celebrated a birthday since she passed away?” Aunt Maggie asked, back to being serious.

I shook my head.

“Not even your sweet-sixteen?”

“There was nothing sweet about that year. I had to say goodbye to my mother and get over the heartache on my own. Nobody thought about celebrating the living when we still mourned over what we’ve lost.”

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