Page 59 of Redeeming Heart

“She wouldn’t have wanted it like that. She always made me swear to her that we will dance in the rain and have a massive party for her funeral.”

I couldn’t contain the smile that appeared on my face at the thought of my mother’s crazy ideas.

“She once talked about having us shoot each other with paintball guns.”

Aunt Maggie gave me a bewildered look before she burst out laughing.

“Angela loved life and lived every second to the fullest. I am not surprised that she wanted us to celebrate her death because she lived a good life even while she was cursed with illness.” Aunt Maggie noted with a single tear slipping down her cheek.

“Nobody expected her to get ten more years than what they anticipated. She loved God to the very last second and never blamed him for anything. She thanked Him for giving her life and you.”

“That’s why everyone called her an angel in disguise.” Aunt Maggie nodded while wiping away her fallen tears.

“She was. Even our parents started to believe that she was.” She agreed.

I pulled out the necklace my mother got me that my father only gave to me a few days ago. “Even in death, she has a way of connecting with one.”

I held up the butterfly necklace and watched Aunt Maggie’s eyes go wide from surprise.

“Where did you get this?” She asked, taking a closer look.

“She…uh…left one last letter for me, including made dad buy this for me while she was hospitalized.” She arched an eyebrow handing back my necklace.

“Did you read it?” She asked.

I shook my head slightly and lowered my head in shame. “I am not ready to say the final goodbye.”

She pushed herself off her chair and kneeled in front of me, cupping my face in her hands.

“She’s already gone and for her to find peace, we have to let go or she will be forever kept here against her will. She never kept a bird in a cage because she didn’t believe in keeping anything caged.”

“Because she never wanted her wings to be clipped.” I finished—remembering mom’s wishes.

“I know, but I am not ready for that pain all over again.”

“This time you have me at your side, someone who understands the hurt you are going through because I am dealing with the same selfish thing.” She acknowledged.

“Angela is also a part of me.” She held her hand over her heart emphasizing her hurt.

“What if I don’t like what she wrote and I want to ask questions or I want more?” I asked, sharing my insecurities with her.

“She will never do that to anyone, especially to you.” She curled a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“You gotta believe, kiddo.”

My belief cracked from the day I found out about mom’s struggling life and when she had to suffer through her last days.

The so-called big man upstairs is supposed to express love, forgiveness, and miracles.

How can believe when my soul is raptured?

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

“When I get high I get high on speed.

Top fuel running car’s a drug for me”

Grabbing my hockey stick and held it like I was holding an electric guitar as I impersonated Mick Mars and Vince Neil from Motley Crue. Forgetting for a moment where I was and that I had no talent at singing at all but it came to an end sooner than I had planned when my father turned the music down.

---