Page 76 of Chase Our Forever

Dean chuckles as I walk back to my closet to grab a pair of jeans. “Oh, I can be a very good boy for you, sunshine.” When I look back at him as I pull on my jeans, I find him standing in the doorway of my closet, looking far too hot. He holds the molding above the door. The position makes his defined biceps stand out. A rush of heat washes over me as I remember what it feels like to be caged in between his arms as he rocks into me. Or maybe it’s the tone he uses with his words. Either way, I need to get going before I make myself late and jump his bones.

“Dean,” I whine, knowing he’s teasing me with dirty innuendos on purpose.

He playfully holds his hands up, trying to pin his features into a look of innocence. “What?”

I grab a pair of boots from my closet and pull them on. Dean’s smile turns into a frown when he realizes that I’m serious about leaving without him.

“I think you’re going to love the gifts I got you,” I say, biting back a smile. Before I even knew it was his birthday soon, I wanted to have these made for him. Shirley spilling the beans that it’s his birthday just gave me the perfect excuse to hurry up and order them.

“Gifts, you say? Tell me more.” Dean walks up to me and grabs either side of my face. I love how in the last day, he can’t stop touching me. Even when we’ve been with his family, he’s snuck in little touches every now and then.

It’s as if he has to reach out and feel my skin against his to make sure I’m still here.

“I’m not telling you anything more,” I finally respond, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He lets out one of his famous growls that I love so much. He can pretend to be grumpy all he wants. Now that he’s let me in, I know underneath the charade how sweet he actually is. “I’mgoing to miss you.” His voice loses the playful tone and instead turns serious.

My lips twitch as I fight a smile. I’m trying not to think too far into the future about what happens next between us and instead soak in having him look at me just the way he is right now, but it’s hard to not want so much more when he says things like that.

“We’re going to be away from each other for a few hours, tops. What are you going to do tomorrow when you’ll have to be at work all day?”

He leans in and presses a kiss to my neck. “I’m going to miss you tomorrow, too.”

I laugh, my fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I don’t know if I’m going to get used to hearing you say things like that.”

He continues to pepper kisses along my neck and jaw, sending shivers down my spine with how good it feels. “Oh, I’ve been missing you for a while now. I just finally accepted there was no use in pretending anymore.”

His words make me smile. Logically, I know his feelings for me didn’t just appear yesterday, but it still feels good to hear him voice that they’ve been there longer. It didn’t take long after I became Clara’s nanny for me to realize I was attracted to him, both physically and emotionally.

His gaze meets mine. I sigh, my eyes searching his face. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I love him. I don’t need him to say it back, not yet. I just really want him to know that he’s loved. My heart races. This might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. I just got him to finally stop fighting the connection between us, and I’m going to push things by admitting how I really feel.

But I can’t help it. There’s something about the look in his eyes that convinces me now is the perfect time to tell him how I feel.

“If I tell you something, you promise to not freak out?” I ask, my words hurried. Standing in my closet minutes before I have to leave probably isn’t the best way to tell someone I love them for the first time, but I also don’t want to keep it in any longer.

Dean cocks his head to the side. “Should I be worried?” he asks, his voice hesitant.

My heart beats so fast I wonder if it’s loud enough for him to hear. “That depends,” I respond, my voice a little shaky.

“Okay…” His thumb traces my cheekbone as his eyes search mine for any clues about what’s going through my mind.

“I know things have always been a little complicated between us, and we just stopped fighting our attraction for one another, but it’s more than that for me, Dean. Yesterday when you asked me to stay forever, I meant it when I said this is the happiest I’ve ever been. I truly can’t imagine my life anywhere else—withanyone else. I wanted to tell you that I’d do anything you wanted because I…”

I take a deep breath, fully aware of how rushed my words are and how shaky my voice is. “Well, because I’ve fallen in love with you. And with Clara. And I know it’s fast, and I don’t expect you to say it back. But I had to say it. For myself.”

He holds my face even tighter but says nothing at first. All he does is stare back at me, his eyes a little wide and his lips slightly parted. He doesn’t run or push me away or really react at all.

He just stands there, and I can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing. I give him a hesitant smile, not regretting getting the words out there despite his silence.

“Sunshine,” he begins, the nickname he gave me coming out a bit strangled.

I press my fingers against his lips. “You don’t have to say anything, and it doesn’t change anything for me. I can love you enough for the both of us until you’re ready to love again.”

I don’t know what I expect him to do or say, but he takes me by surprise by leaning in and kissing me. The kiss makes my toes curl inside my boots with how much heat and passion he puts into it.

I have no idea how long we stand there in the closet kissing, but it somehow feels like forever and still nowhere near long enough. Eventually, I pull away and look up at him with a smile. “I really have to go now.”

He frowns, making it obvious he still doesn’t approve of me going without him. “I’ll miss you,” Dean says, his voice quiet.

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