Page 21 of My Favorite Sin

“It’s no issue at all. Where’s Ally?” I ask as Amabella greets me with a hug.

“Still in her room,” she says. “I’m not sure she’ll answer you. I told her you were coming and I got no response.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take it from here.”

I jog up the main flight of stairs, taking two at a time, and catch my breath before knocking on Ally’s bedroom door. “Ally, it’s me.”

No response. It’s late, and while she could be asleep, instincts tell me otherwise.

“I’m picking the lock if you don’t answer in ten seconds.”

Soft footsteps pad across the floor, the lock clicks, then the footsteps retreat. I poke my head inside, finding Ally inthe dark, sitting on the window seat in her pajamas and staring out at the night. There’s no emotion on her face, and that’s what worries me the most. I can deal with tears and anger and even her panic attacks. But the girl in front of me is completely withdrawn.

I sit with her in the bay window. “What’s going on?”

No answer.

“Did something happen at work?—”

“I was supposed to go on a date last night.” Her voice is lifeless as she continues staring out at the black sky.

My chest turns hollow, not having known anything about this date. I understand why she didn’t tell me; as much as she insists we’re just friends, she knows that’s a lie.

This date restates how little I know about Ally’s past year, and I feel so… jealous, being kept in the dark about the intimate details of her life, when this girl used to sleep in my arms every night. Did she date guys in Paris? Did she have sex? Who was this guy from last night? I wish I had answers, but right now, all I want is to make Ally feel better.

“What happened with this date?”

“I spent hours doing my hair and makeup. I was nervous but excited. I waited for him on the front porch. When he didn’t show up, I called him.” She laughs, but there’s nothing humorous about the sound. “He told me he’s back with his ex and forgot all about me.” She speaks the words with such a blank voice that it sounds eerie. My chest flares with anger that someone would hurt Ally like this. “I guess that’s a fair point. I’m not memorable. There’s nothing special about me.”

“Ally, stop. When your mom called me and said you’re upset, I raced here. That’s how special you are to me.”

Her brows pinch. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s worth it, to be with you when you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset. I’m… numb.” She looks at me for the first time since my arrival. “You want to know what I said to the guy? I told him I understood and that I wish him and his girlfriend all the best. I didn’t stand up for myself. I didn’t get angry at him. I acted like I was pleased for him. Pathetic, huh?”

“You’re not pathetic.” I grab her hands and slide closer, urging her to believe my words. “You’re perfect, Ally, just the way you are. If some jerk can’t see that, then it’s his loss.”

She looks down at her hands in mine and withdraws them. “You’re the only one who likes me. I don’t have any friends.”

“You run with Killian every morning. Felix loves you. So does Tyler. Daxton and Jordan?—”

“Family doesn’t count. I didn’t make lasting friendships in Paris. I was too shy. Killian encouraged me to be friends with a girl at work. She’s nice and I’d like to be her friend, but I’ve been too awkward. Now, I’ve probably left a bad impression on her.”

“You can mend that relationship?—”

“I’ve never been on a date.” Her blank tone continues as she stares out the window. “I didn’t meet any guys in Paris. I’m twenty years old and I’m still a virgin.”

There’s my answer to the question about her virginity. I’m pleased for my own selfish reasons but not that it causes so much grief for her.

“You’re barely a virgin after what we did?—”

“Don’ttalk about that,” she snaps, still not looking at me. I know I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but at least it brought out an emotion in her.

“Ally, there are plenty of people your age and older who haven’t had sex. None of this means anything.”

“You don’t get it,” she whispers, back to the lifeless canvas. “I’m sick of being like this. I’m sick of being me. Something has to change.”

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