Page 22 of My Favorite Sin

“Ally…”

She stands up and heads for her bed. “I’m going to sleep. I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here tonight.”

I watch as she draws back her bedspread and climbs beneath the sheets. She should know better than to believe I’ll follow her words and leave. I slide my shoes off and lay on the bed with her, on top of the sheets and with plenty of space between us.

“Dan…” I can hear the warning in her voice.

“You’re my person, Ally. I’m not going anywhere.”

CHAPTER TEN

ALLY

Warmth encompasses me. My eyes slowly blink open to the morning light, and I realize someone’s arm is around my waist. There’s a wall of muscle pressed to my back. Hot breath caresses the nape of my neck.

My heart rate picks up and I’m instantly wide awake, aware of every inch of Dan’s body that touches mine and loving it. Memories flood back to me of how I used to sleep in his bed most nights with the two of us in this exact position. I was fifteen the first time it happened. Though I wouldn’t have wanted Mom and Josh to find us like that, those nights were innocent, the two of us just hugging. As we grew older, Dan’s hand would slide beneath my shirt and cup my breasts. His fingers would brush against my nipples. I’d go to sleep every night with wet panties. He never shied away from letting me feel his erection pressed to my back. As I gained confidence, I even grinded my ass against his dick and loved whenever I heard him groan.

I remain still in Dan’s arms, wanting this moment to linger and not wake him. Being wrapped in his embrace is the only thing in this world that feels right, and after beingstood up two nights ago, I’ll cling to anything that makes me feel good.

A moment later, I remind myself how wrong it is to give in to my feelings for Dan, and gently attempt to remove myself from his arms.

His grip tightens around my waist, pulling me closer. My stomach flutters with excitement.

“Uh… Dan?” I whisper.

He stirs slightly. Without seeing his face, I pinpoint the exact moment he wakes and realizes the intimate position we’re in. Dan’s muscles stiffen and he releases me.

“Shit, sorry.” He sits up against the headboard, rubbing both hands over his face and through his hair to wake up. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, you know, amazing after my date forgot I exist.”

The left corner of his mouth slants upward as he looks me over, his gaze warming my cheeks.

I sit up beside Dan. “What’s that look for?”

“Your voice is back to normal.”

“What was wrong with my voice?”

“Last night you sounded so… defeated. You had me worried.”

I shrug because he’s right, being forgotten about was defeating. And humiliating.

But I have a new sense of direction this morning.

After I went to bed, I spent the whole night tossing and turning while reflecting on my situation and found clarity. My life started going downhill when I was a young girl and lived in a toxic household with my mom and her ex. Everything always seems to link back to that one period of my life—my lack of confidence, my difficulties meeting new people and socializing, the panic attacks, the inability to audition.

But I’m tired of blaming everything on Mom’s ex. The abuse happened. It fucked me up, but I need to move on with my life. I can’t keep sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I want a boyfriend and proper friends who aren’t family. I want to have sex, to let loose for once and not have the pressure of always being on my best behavior. I want to step out of my comfort zone and experience life instead of being the good little daughter of Amabella and Josh Blackwood. None of these things are going to happen unless I start making drastic changes to myself.

What I want most in this world is Dan, but those desires are messed up and maybe I only want him because I’ve never been around other guys much.

I climb out of bed and brush my fingers through my hair. “Hey, would you like to take a walk on the beach with me? There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”

“So, I’ve been thinking about my dating situation,” I say as the tide washes over my feet. The early morning sea breeze rustles my hair and sand squishes between my toes with each step I take along the shore. Dan and I slipped out the back of the house before our parents knew we were awake.

“You know, you could have told me you had a date. It didn’t need to be a secret.” I can feel Dan’s eyes on me as he speaks those words. His tone is gentle. He’s been treading carefully around me since arriving at the beach house last night, like he thinks I’m about to break, when in fact, determination is all that runs through my veins right now.

“I thought me going on a date might be weird for you to hear. Definitely not as weird as what I’m about to tell you.But I’ve gotten to the stage of desperation and I’m not sure what else to do.”

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