Page 126 of It's Always Us

“It’s time for bed,” he mumbles against my mouth, and I have no doubt if I weren’t pregnant, I’d be over his shoulder right now.

The music on my phone suddenly breaks into ringing, halting our steps. Mark pauses but doesn’t release me.

His lips brush against mine. “It’s probably a robot.”

It stops ringing, and I fall against him as his hands pull at the hem of my shirt. It doesn’t get past my bump before my phone starts ringing again.

Mark groans, loosening his grip as I let my head fall to his shoulder.

“I should check it.” I tug my shirt down and grab my phone from the stool, seeing that it’s Grandpa. My stomach hits the concrete floor.

“Grandpa. Everything ok?”

Mark moves to stand next to me, his comforting hand on my shoulder, while all I can do is listen as my dream come true crashes into reality.

“Ok,” I say because there’s nothing else. “I’ll see you soon.”

I hang up, holding my phone and unable to look at the face I’d walk through fire to never ever hurt again.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Is Cal, ok?” His voice is so soft and tender that it only plunges the sword of truth deeper with a twist.

I pinch my eyes closed, wanting this to all go away. I want to ignore it and let it be someone else’s sacrifice this time and prevent Mark from ever having to relive the nightmares he escaped from.

“Lex . . . ”

I hear my name, but if I move, if I speak, everything I’ve finally let myself believe I could have will disappear.

“Baby . . . ” Mark’s hands grip my elbows. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

I force out a breath, needing the tears and utter terror about what’s coming to stay at bay. What is it they say? The truth always catches upwith you. Or is it the past? Either way, it just snagged my ass, and the only thing I can do is hope that he’ll see that I did it for him.

I swallow the tidal wave of dread and fear for what’s to come. “I have to go . . . back.” I could have said home, but Mark is my home now. At least, I hope he’ll still be.

“What happened?”

I move, suddenly needing to get out of the garage—this place where I see everything we’re becoming. I move quickly, unwilling to let him trap me there.

Inside, I go straight to our bedroom as he calls my name.

“Lex, stop.”

I keep going, flipping on the light.

He finally catches my arm, stalling my attempt to flee. “Lex, you need to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Knowing I can’t protect him from this any longer, I force my eyes to his. The severe concern I find there rips my chest wide open.

I inhale as the weight of crushed dreams fills my lungs. “I have to go back. There’s . . . ” I sink down onto the edge of the bed, hoping the padding will somehow soften the blow. “I have to tell you something.” I wrap my arms around myself, preparing for the aftershock.

“Ok.” His brow scrunches tight, and his stance is strong and wide. His defenses are in place. I fucking hate it. All of it.

I don’t even know where to start or what to say, so I jump in, needing him to hear me and understand. “Please just . . . listen to me.”

My pathetic voice sounds weak as I watch his muscles contract.

“Ok.” His tense tone makes it already feel like a lie.

I shove out a quick, short breath, my heart beating too fast. I slide my sweaty hands under my thighs to prevent them from shaking. “Remember that day after graduation when we had the party at the shop for you and Shane and Sean, and the newspaper showed up to feature the three of you? Three guys from the system headed off to major universities.”

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