Page 127 of It's Always Us

“Yeah.” His stance softens, but only slightly.

“Pictures of you made circles around the state for weeks. People couldn’t stop talking about it as you left for camp that summer.”

I kissed him goodbye, promising I’d be there. I wasn’t. It’s a fresh, direct punch to the diaphragm every time I let myself remember.

I swallow the painful lump in my throat. He deserves the truth, free of my heartache and suffering.

“Two weeks after you left, I was at the garage working.” I peek at him, praying he’ll listen. “A woman walked in with a baby. She was looking for you.”

The crease between his eyes deepens, like he’s trying to recall something or make sense of my words.

“Lex, I don’t know—”

“It was your mom.”

He physically pulls back. “My mom?”

I nod. “She saw your picture in the paper and was looking for you and for . . . help.”

I wanted to kick her out and tell her every single thing I thought about her. Then two tiny brown eyes, much smaller versions of the ones staring at me now, peeked at me from the hip of a woman who was strung out and reeked of alcohol.

“She was a mess, slurring her words, and had the shakes.” It was the first time I’d ever seen someone like that, and I could have vomited all over the floor thinking of Mark living with that for years.

“I told her to leave and that I had no idea how to get in touch with you. She started to cause a scene and begged me to help her find you. When I didn’t budge, the baby began to cry. She was jostling her around, calling me names, and telling me I was keeping her from trying to do the right thing.”

Mark steps away from me, his eyes dropping to the floor. “I don’t understand.” He shakes his head, his voice rough.

“She said she was trying to get clean, wanted money, and needed someone to take Bree.” At her name, his head pops up. “Your . . . sister,” I say softly. “She stormed out, calling me a liar, and said she’d find you.” Despite my protest, my eyes fill with tears. “I ran after her and told her I’d help her as long as she’d leave you alone.”

His eyes flick between mine so fast I can’t keep up. “You.” The word comes out with force. I nod. “What? You helped her?” His tone is filled with nothing but betrayal.

Stab. Stab. Stab.

My shaky hand pushes my hair behind my ear. “She left her with me. Just handed her over and walked away. Grandpa and I worked with asocial worker. I made sure your mom got into a treatment program and . . . ” I don’t finish when I see rage flood his dark eyes.

“Why the hell are you telling me this now?”

A tear slips down my cheek. He’s angry, but there are wounds underneath that I’ve sliced wide open.

“Eventually, she got clean and regained custody of Bree. I’ve been making sure that there weren’t any slips. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to Bree like . . . ”

What happened to you.My gut squeezes so tight bile creeps up my throat, knowing what Mark went through as a child.

I don’t say it, but I can see he knows. His jaw is set, his hands fisted, but he needs the rest.

“I told your mom about us getting married and the babies. I told her that I was going to tell you. She . . . has a lot of regrets.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare defend her,” he spits.

“I’m not. I reminded her that she needed to keep going . . . to stay clean . . . for Bree.” I drop my head. “She’s been arrested.”

I don’t want to say the rest, but protecting him went out the window. “She was picked up and is being charged with manufacturing and delivery, and . . . ” The last part is going to shove a hot poker into every freshly opened wound. “Child endangerment.”

I give him a minute, watching him struggle with it all. “Bree is sitting in a facility right now. I don’t know the details, but I have to get back to speak with the social worker. Grandpa tried, but . . . ”

I don’t continue. There’s no point. I can tell he’s done listening. His eyes are trained on the floor. He won’t even look at me.

“So, you just decided to keep your mouth shut about this? This whole time. You never once thought you should tell me.”

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