Page 133 of It's Always Us

The more days that go by without Mark really talking to me, the more I wonder if he ever will. Two days ago, he told me he’s meeting with Seattle’s team doctors and therapists, but after today, I have to know what’s going on. It’s not just Bree that needs answers. I need a plan.

I promised Bree I would always tell her the truth, and so I give her the only thing I’m absolutely sure of.

“Remember I told you he travels a lot.” She nods, still not looking at me. “He’s got a really busy schedule, and when that settles down, he and I will talk about it.”

Her slim shoulders slump further, and I put my arm around her, pulling her to my side.

“But I can tell you that I won’t be leaving you. Ok? Unless someone tells me I have to, you’re staying with me and Grandpa Cal.”

One side of her mouth tugs up a hair. “And the babies, too.”

I squeeze her tighter. “And these little monsters, too. I’ll need your help.”

The first smile I’ve seen in days spreads across her beautiful face.

“All right, you two, I don’t think we can fit one more stuffed animal or art piece in the truck.” Slade’s big, broad frame leans against the doorway.

“I only have three stuffies,” Bree challenges.

“Well, they’re buckled in and ready to go.”

Bree scans the small room, checking it over one last time. She pulls a small picture of her and Linda at her last dance recital off the wall and shoves it in her pocket. “I’m ready.” She looks so much older than she should ever have to for only being nine.

Slade steps into the room and offers his hand to help tug me up. “Shit, woman. You get any bigger, and we’ll need a crane.”

I slap his arm, and he chuckles. “You’re mean.”

“Want me to drive you to your appointment later? I’ve got a dolly.”

“Slade, if you don’t want to lose a nut, keep your mouth shut.”

His hand jets out as I get ready to step out of the room. “Seriously, you want me to go with you?” I smile up at him, swallowing what feels like razor blades. “He needs to get his head out of his ass quick before I go remove it for him.” Slade’s eyes are hard and serious.

“Tomorrow.” I manage to squeak out. “He’s going to have to give me something tomorrow.”

He swings his arm around me. “He’s no delicate flower. You need to quit treating him like one. He better give you a hell of a lot more than something.”

I hug him. “He will.”

“He doesn’t deserve you, you know that? Everything you did for him.”

We meet Bree at the door, and she steps out as Slade locks it.

“He does.”And so much more.“He’s got to face the evil this place holds. He has to be ready to do that.”

Slade doesn’t say anything, but I know he heard me. I also know he understands a little something about what it takes to stare down the past.

What I don’t know is when Mark might be ready. All I can do for now is believe that he will. The man I married—the one whose eyes I stared into as he declared his love for me over and over again—would stand and take on any force just as he would have when I did it for him.

_______

The receptionist hands me a card with my next appointment on it. I shove it in my pocket.

Two weeks. I no longer have monthly appointments but will be coming every two weeks so they can monitor for contractions and keep an eye on potential early labor. For now, I have to take it easy and call if I start feeling any tightening.

I climb in my truck and sit. I have thirty minutes until I told Krissy I’d pick Bree up. Not long, but maybe long enough.

My moment of positivity and hope I shared with Slade earlier quickly dwindled as I lay listening to the babies’ hearts beat. Their little whoosh, whoosh, whooshes crept into my throat, and I about lost it right there on the short exam table.

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