“Where have you—”
Mom shuffled into the room with a bounce to her step, then halted in her tracks. “I know you’ve been gone for a while, but you know that’s your dad’s seat.”
The air swirled around me, growing thick and heavy as I looked at Lex. She reached to the seat beside her and patted it with a smirk.
“Right. I thought it’d be okay since he wasn’t here.”
I stood and sat in my designated seat. Lex bumped me with her shoulder with a giggle.
Why did she lie to me?
How old was she now? Fifteen or sixteen?
“He’s on his way home.” She shuffled into the connecting kitchen and stood behind the counter that separated the rooms. “I told him you were here, and he thought I was playing a cruel joke on him.”
I clasped my hands in my lap, my skin prickling with a sudden surge of heat. “You wouldn’t do that,” I said, the words more a plea than a statement. I had to trust her and believe that her intentions were pure.
As I waited for his arrival, my mind wandered to thoughts of her. I didn’t know if she preferred coffee or tea if she was a stern mother or a kind one. But one thing I did know, from the brief snippets of memory I had recovered, was that she was a loving presence in my life. Even on the day they had me committed for trying to take my own life, I never saw her in any other light.
“He just couldn’t believe it.”
“May I have some water, please?” I rubbed my throat to ease the discomfort before letting my hand fall back into my lap. My fingers twisted together, my broken ones held out of the way, with a nervous energy that refused to be still.
My mother moved silently around the kitchen, grabbing a glass from above the dishwasher and filling it with water from the blue container in the refrigerator. She reached into the freezer and twisted two cubes from a tray.
“No ice, please,” I said before she plopped them into my glass.
“Are you sure?” She gave me an inquisitive stare.
“Yes.”
“Okay, here you go.” She placed the cup in front of me.
“Thank you.” I gulped the water down.
“I don’t know where to begin, Mia,” she said when I set my glass down. “You’ve refused to speak to us for a year now.”
“I refused…” The air knocked from my lungs as I grappled with the prospect of voluntarily cutting off my family. “I mean, I was trying to work some things out. I guess.”
“Did you?” Mom’s kind eyes implored me with a heavy sadness.
“Did I… what?” My mind went blank like a switch had been flipped. I stared at the rainbow table mat, reciting the colors like a mantra to ward off the darkness.
“Figure out whatever you needed to?”
I nodded, but the truth was, I was more lost than ever before. The memory of crawling out of Nikolai’s basement still haunted me, a shadow that loomed over everything I did. “I think so.” The lie easily rolled off my tongue, but my mother gave me a sideways glance.
“There’s something different about you. Are you feeling well?” She reached over the table, and I flinched, causing her to pause, then pressed the back of her hand to my forehead.
“Sorry,” I murmured as the door swung open.
“Where is she?” my father bellowed with a lilt of happiness. He shut the door with a bang, and the sound of jackets and boots being tossed to the floor resounded before a tall fit man with graying hair entered the dining room.
My dad paused for a split second, then rushed around the table and pulled me into a bear hug, my arms trapped at my sides while he growled with elation. “I’ve missed you so much.” He placed a kiss on my temple.
I gave him the best smile I could while doing my best to hide that I barely recognized this man. I’d seen his face and heard his voice in flashes, but the man himself could pass as another being walking past me on the street, unlike Lex and Mom.
“Hi, Dad.”