Page 89 of Secrets & Curses of Cerithia

“I’m a prisoner.” I shrugged.

“You don’t look like a prisoner.” Larissa raised her dark brow at me. I could feel Cassius staring daggers into my back, but I ignored him. “Come in; the kids will be happy to see you, and we can catch up.”

“That would be great.” I smiled and let her lead me inside.

“I can escort Thea back to the castle when we are done visiting,” Leer offered.

Cassius hesitated for a moment, his eyes jumping from Leer to me. “Fine,” he muttered as he and Haden turned to leave.

Their home was twice the size of their last, and this time, the furnishings were not falling apart. The kitchen even had fully-stocked shelves of food. The kids came squealing toward me, and I hugged them before they ran off. I could feel Larissa and Leerwatching me. When I turned to them, Leer raised his blonde brow at me.

“Why was Cassius here?”

“He was letting me know that he was accepting my application to be a guard of Crimson. He said he hadn’t realized that you sent me here.”

My heart thudded at the news.

“Your home is lovely.” I smiled.

“The royal family gifted it to us.” Larissa smiled. “That is part of being a guard for Crimson.”

This was a vast change from how they lived in Cerithia. They hugged each other tightly, and for some reason, sadness filled me.

“Now, tell us everything.” Larissa smiled and sat me down on the couch. I went through everything I could think of that they missed. When I stopped talking, they both gaped at me from the couch.

“Stars above, Thea.” Leer frowned.

“I’ll be alright.” I looked at them. “I’m so happy you guys are safe. How are you feeling?” I glanced over at Larissa, but she didn’t make my healing magic surge forward.

“I’ve never felt better.”

She raised her pretty face up to Leer and kissed him.

I stood. Cassius and I still hadn’t talked yet, and he had not made any sort of move on me since I had kissed him at the hot spring. In fact, it seemed like he was avoiding me. I had hardly seen him in two days. It made feel as if I did something wrong.

“I’m going to head back to the castle. I’m still quite exhausted, but maybe we can meet again soon.”

Leer stood and told Larissa he would be back after escorting me home. He and I walked in silence for a long time. It was as if he knew I was struggling. Finally, he sighed heavily when we were almost back.

“You aren’t alright.” He frowned. “What can I do to help?”

I glanced at him and knew he couldn’t do anything. Moving my eyes away from him, I looked at the castle.

“Unless you can make my trauma disappear, then there is nothing to do. I want to speak to Cassius, but I feel disgusted with how broken I feel after Jesper's torture. My mind keeps tricking me into thinking I am not worthy of love or Cassius, so he must be using me.” Tears filled my eyes even as I tried to hold them in. The past two nights, my mind has reeled with terrible dreams of Cassius killing me. I was struggling with his betrayal and wondering if I was falling for it again. No matter how many times I told myself that Cassius loved me, there was a small voice questioning everything. Just because my father was bad didn't mean that Cassius was good. That's what it kept saying.

I didn't actually think Cassius was a bad guy, but my mind was being such a bitch.

“He cares for you.”

“I know, but the confusion is overwhelming."

The words broke my resolve. Tears flooded down my face as a loud sob escaped me. Leer moved to me quickly, holding me tightly against his chest. He didn’t say anything to comfort me; he just let me cry, and that was all I wanted. When I pulled back, I wiped the tears from my eyes.

“I am so lost, Leer."

“Then let him explain, Thea. I’m sure there is a reason for his madness.”

I knew I needed to let Cassius explain, but I was scared. I was terrified that whatever his reasoning was, it would not be good enough for me. More than anything, I wanted a reason to forgive him. But fear was making it impossible to move forward. I felt stuck.

---