“Will you keep telling me what you remember? It’s nice knowing that you can remember parts of us.”
“Yes,” I agreed immediately.
There was a long pause before he spoke again. And when he did, his voice was soft, as if he was worried he would spook me.
“If you ever want to talk about what Jesper did, I will listen.”
Gods, I wanted to tell him every hit, cut, and hateful word Jesper ever spewed at me, but I couldn’t. For some reason, I felt disgusted with myself that I couldn’t fight off Jesper. How can I be this powerful woman who is going to crumble kingdoms and kill kings when Jesper was able to hurt me so badly? I felt weak.
“I don’t think it would help,” I answered.
“I can see it in your eyes that you hide terrible memories behind them. Every time you look at me, I see all the ways I’ve failed you looking back at me. You can’t hide the emotions you send down the bond, my love. I know that you are hurt deeply, and if you don’t get those thoughts out of you, they will eat you alive. Sometimes, speaking about hard things is what we need to do so they cannot hold power over us anymore. Let me carry the burden of your pain with you.”
My eyes flickered between his, and my darkness hummed at his words, like they agreed.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Cassius didn’t push me to speak; he waited patiently for me to make a decision about what was best for me. Tears formed in my eyes as I looked at him. No thoughts formed, even though I wanted to tell him, so I showed him. Slowly, I rose out of the hot spring, showing Cassius my marred skin. Jesper’s name carved into my flesh in two places, along with the insults he carved, had Cassius’ face falling as his eyes took in every new scar. I turned so he could see my back, and I cried silently when Cassius’ hand touched the word traitor cut into my skin. As soon as I felt him, sobs left me violently.
“Thea…” he choked out.
“I couldn’t fight him off. I was too weak, and now I will live with the reminders of what he did to me forever. I can’t even look at myself in a mirror anymore.”
Cassius turned me, tears falling from his eyes as he pulled me to him in a tight hug.
“He will never hurt you again,” he promised. He kissed my head as I sobbed into his chest. After a few minutes, Cassius pulled me back and raised his hand, so his shadows swarmed over me. His eyes never left mine as they moved over every mark on my skin. When he pulled his shadows back, all of Jesper’s words were covered in tattoos. Where scars had marred my skin, beauty now covered it. A black forest, crimson-colored flowers, and a blood moon replaced the insults. He had given me the gift of our story to cover Jesper’s ugliness.
“Much better,” he whispered as he tucked a wet strand of hair behind my ear. I stared at him for a long, tear-filled moment before pushing up on my toes to kiss him. Unlike our first kiss here, this one was not full of lust. It was full of longing and love. Cassius slipped his arms around me and held me to him tightly as he kissed me back.
“Let’s go home,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against mine.
Chapter 28
Iknew Haden was following me. He did a horrible job of hiding in the trees, but maybe he wanted me to know he was with me. After all, he had been lurking around me for the past few days. Today, when I woke up, I finally felt good enough to try and find Leer.
I dressed in simple clothes, not scared of others seeing my scars for the first time in what felt like forever. Nervousness plagued me as I walked the simple road to the town. I was remembering the welcome I had received in Cerithia and hoped nothing like that happened here.
Surprisingly, though, when I got to the city, the fae stopped in the streets and smiled—even bowed to me.
Haden stepped out of the tree line and moved toward me.
“Why are you spying on me?”
“Cassius trusts me to make sure you are safe.” Haden gave me a smile. “And you are my friend. I want to make sure you’re safe too.”
I rolled my eyes and glanced around. After a long walk through the town, Haden finally asked me what I was looking for.
“Leer and his family.”
“Are you really friends with him?” Haden frowned. “He was horrible to you during the trials.”
“He had his reasons, and I forgave him. He was my only friend in Cerithia.”
Haden frowned slightly before grabbing my hand and pulling me to the left. He dragged me through the streets until a cute home with a big green yard stood in front of us. Before I could open my mouth, the door opened, and Cassius stepped out. My heart raced at the sight of how good he looked in his black uniform.
“Thea?” My eyes moved past Cassius to Larissa and Leer.
“You made it!” I smiled and ran to them. They both hugged me tightly. When they let me go, they held me at arm’s length to look me over.
“You’re in Crimson?” Leer questioned as he glanced at Haden and Cassius.