Page 30 of Unexpected Boyfriends

He nods and we get out of the car. I hurry around to him and wrap him in my arms and hold him tight. He rests his head against my shoulder and sobs silently into my neck. My own tears stream down my face and end up in his hair. We stand there wrapped up in each other, crying away our hurt, hearts pressed close to each other.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper and kiss the top of his head. “Can you forgive me?”

Justin sniffles and nods and holds me tight. After a while, when the first wave of emotion has passed, we separate a little. I slip my arm around his shoulders to keep him close, and he winds his arm around my waist, and we walk slowly along the beach together.

We’re completely alone, except for the moon, the waves, and the occasional cry of a seagull. Down at the far end of the beach, where the headland towers above us like a giant sentinel in thedark, I step in front of him, gently take his face in my hands, and kiss him.

Justin’s lips are soft and full. They move gently against mine, and when I press against them, they open for me and allow my tongue inside. I marvel at how gracious he is. There’s still a lot to be said, reparation to be made, but he accepts me with his heart open and vulnerable.

We are both vulnerable. He could bring me to my knees right now with one harsh word or a cold shoulder, but he does neither of those things, just remains steadfastly honest with his emotions.

I could love this man. Maybe I already do.

The thought is scary. I’ve never been so caught up in someone, so quickly, and it’s frightening to need someone so much. I still worry that he's so much younger than me, but I try and put that out of my mind. If he's willing, we'll give it our best shot. That's all anyone can hope for.

We spend a long time walking up and down the beach, kissing and cuddling.

At some point, the clouds thin out and the moon takes command of the sky, except for the occasional grey streak that drifts across its face, obscuring it for a moment before hurrying away.

And when we tire of walking, we sit on the rocks out at the point and watch the restless sea tossing beneath the moon, and the stars twinkling high in the sky. There’s a sense of peace here, and a restless undercurrent of anticipation.

Justin turns to me and offers me the first smile of the evening. His eyes shine with a soft expression, though there’s still a hintof sadness. I misjudged his feelings and I hurt him, and I can’t undo that, but I can make sure I don’t do it again.

He slips his hand in mine. I lift it to my lips, kiss it, and promise him with my eyes that going forward I will be his safe place.

Chapter 11

You and Me

JUSTIN

Afterwards, Axel takes me back to his house. It’s the first time he’s brought me here. The lights are off when we arrive and we enter the house quietly because it’s likely his mother is upstairs asleep. Although he told me she doesn't mind if he brings people home, it's just polite not to be noisy.

He leads me to his bedroom. It’s a simple room - queen size bed in the middle, a large window opening onto the garden. Moonlight streams in the window and across the bed. A bookshelf sits against the near wall, filled with books but uncluttered on top. There’s a desk in the corner which is a jumble of art pads and art supplies. Interesting. I file it away as something new I’ve learnt about Axel, and it explains why he never scoffed at my interest in drawing. A notepad and pen rest on a laptop pushed to the rear of the desk. I catch a glimpse of a sketch but I can't see what the subject is.

"I'm a graphic designer," Axel tells me when he sees me looking at the untidy desk. "I mainly do freelance work."

I nod. I don't really know what a graphic designer actually does, but that's a discussion for another time.

There’s also a chest of drawers against the wall, and a chair. Nothing else.

"Come here."

Axel pulls me towards the bed, and after taking off our shoes, we climb on top of it. We lie there side by side, with me on my back, and him on his side facing me. We nearly lost each other, and now we’re going to take the time to reconnect and appreciate what we have. And we explore.

He touches me with gentle fingers that run down the side of my face, tracing the curves of my cheek and my jaw. He runs the pad of his thumb softly across my lips. I shiver.

Then he traces down my neck and across my shoulders. I’m still wearing my t-shirt, so I sit up and pull it over my head. Axel does the same with his. I notice that he’s wearing the same neck chain again and I mean to ask him about it. But not right now, we have other more pressing matters to pay attention to. When I lie back down, he continues his way down my body.

As his fingers cruise over my shoulders, and then my pecs, I’m torn between the desire to close my eyes reveling in the tingle of his skin running over mine, and my need to watch the emotions flickering across his face as he touches me. He watches the progress of his fingers with such an intense expression, as though it's vitally important that he maps every part of my body… is this what it's like to beadored?

Then his fingers circle my nipples. He drags his fingernail over one and I gasp.

Axel chuckles, breaking the heavy mood. “Sensitive, are we?” he asks, teasingly, and gives it a tweak.

“Holy fuck!” I can’t help the expletive falling from my mouth. No-one has ever touched me there and I had no idea it was an erogenous zone.

My reaction prompts Axel to lean down and suck my nipple into his mouth.

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