Page 57 of For the Rest of Forever

“I love you too.”

It was several long minutes before either of them said anything again, and then it was Greg, making some joke about his foot falling asleep because of his “elderly man status.” Allen managed a laugh, and they agreed to try to walk back to the trailhead. He felt dizzy and lightheaded when he stood, even with Greg helping him and even when they were slow and careful, but after a moment, he seemed to regain his equilibrium, at least enough for them to start back.

They walked slowly, Greg’s arm staying wrapped around his waist the whole way. By the time they finally reached the SUV maybe close to twenty minutes later, he was exhausted and done.Greg directed him to sit sideways in the passenger seat and then removed his hiking boots and slipped his tennis shoes back on for him.

And another few minutes after that, they were on the road, headed toward the cabin. Allen closed his eyes and rested his head back against the headrest, and when Greg reached over and took his hand, he felt that same deep, aching relief that he’d felt earlier.

He was loved—really, truly loved—for all that he was. He’d known that already, but he’d needed to hear it again. And he’d needed to know all those other things too—that Greg really, truly was okay with not going on that trip and that Greg really, truly was and would be happy.

He was still a mess—a tired, broken mess. Today had only proven just how much he needed to let his mind and body rest so he could heal. And even then, he would probably always still struggle, always still be a mess. But...

Allen glanced sideways at Greg, and his heart felt so full in that moment. As though he’d known he was being watched, Greg turned his head to meet Allen’s eyes briefly before looking back to the road ahead. Then he brought Allen’s hand up to his lips and brushed a light kiss along his knuckles.

And Allen’s heart fluttered in his chest as he closed his eyes again and let himself rest.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Greg

Allen was beyond tired,which was expected, Greg supposed, after what had happened out at South Beach. When they’d arrived back at the cabin, Allen had barely had enough energy to stand, and Greg had had to support him on the walk inside and into the bedroom. He’d helped Allen wash up and change into a clean set of clothes, and then he’d brought him a small plate of fruit and a glass of water. And they’d lounged together in the bed with some documentary playing on the TV that neither of them really watched.

It hadn’t been long before Allen had fallen asleep, the plate of fruit half-eaten and his glass of water still mostly full. So Greg had cleaned up, changed his own clothes, and taken a seat in a cushy armchair right by the window.

That had been nearly two hours ago. And Greg still hadn’t moved.

Outside, the sunny skies persisted—gorgeous weather that would normally have him itching to get moving. Today, however, he was content to be inside, looking out. The window was still open, and the light breeze felt good and refreshing, smelling of forest and ocean.

He shifted in the chair to watch Allen sleep again, as he had been doing for the last couple of hours. His mind was still trying to wrap itself around everything that had happened, everything Allen had told him this morning, and everything yet to come.

The one constant thought that was—thankfully—louder than all others was how grateful he was. Grateful for Allen and their life together. Grateful for their community and the support they had. Grateful for the last thirty-plus years and whatever the future would bring.

Allen turned over onto his side with a quiet groan and blinked his eyes open, and when he found Greg, he smiled weakly. “Hey.”

Greg didn’t answer, but he pushed himself up out of the chair and shuffled over to the bed, not taking his eyes off his husband. He sat on the edge, just next to Allen, and reached out to smooth Allen’s hair back off his forehead. “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, and he bent down to press a gentle kiss to Allen’s lips.

“Mmm, better when you do that,” Allen replied when Greg straightened back up.

“Good, good. I’ve got an unlimited supply of kisses just for you, so any time you need one...” Greg smiled softly and continued gentle caresses with his thumb along Allen’s forehead as Allen closed his eyes again.

“Any time, huh?” Allen chuckled lightly and set his hand on Greg’s thigh. “You know I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Greg said as he suppressed a laugh of his own. He bent down again and kissed Allen’s lips, then his cheek, then his forehead, each kiss a little slower than the last,lingering. When he sat back up, he watched Allen’s smile grow just a little more, and his heart stuttered. He caressed Allen’s forehead one more time, that same sense of gratitude filling him.

Allen’s eyes opened about halfway, and his chest rose and fell with a long, deep breath. “I’ve been asleep for... a while?”

“Yeah, a couple hours almost, but don’t even worry about that,” Greg said, bringing his hand down to cover Allen’s. “You should keep resting if your body needs it or if your mind needs it. And I’ll be right here when you wake up. And when you’re ready to get up, I’m here to help you. Whatever you need.”

He hoped he’d said the right words—the words that would let Allen know he had no expectations, no need to go anywhere or do anything except to be here, if and when Allen needed him. Out on the trail earlier, he’d told Allen everything he’d wanted to and needed to. He’d repeated again how he had no intention of going on that work trip, and he’d also finally broached the topic of cutting back on everything else as well. But those moments had been so emotionally charged, so tenuous and fragile, he was fully prepared to say everything again if he needed to. And he was fully prepared to do everything in his power to show Allen, every moment of every day, just how much all those words meant.

For now, though, Allen didn’t question him. He just blinked his eyes closed again and nodded slightly. Then he pulled his hand away and set both hands by his sides to push himself into a sitting position. Greg scooted over a little to give him room and helped support him as he settled. Then, they both leaned in together in another embrace, Greg’s arms wrapping around Allen and Allen resting his head on Greg’s shoulder.

It was comfortable and comforting, and Greg was hit with another wave of gratitude for this moment. And for all the moments just like this that they’d shared. He turned his head and kissed Allen’s hair, and he let his hand rub up and down Allen’sback. Allen seemed to tremble slightly, and Greg felt him release a shuddering breath.

“I... might need another one of those kisses pretty soon,” Allen said, his voice shaky and muffled against Greg’s shoulder.

“Happy to oblige, darling,” Greg murmured, and he tightened his arms around Allen for a brief second before pulling back, bringing one hand around to cup Allen’s cheek, and then leaning in for another kiss, this one longer, deeper. And when they parted, there was moisture on Allen’s cheeks. “Allen?”

But Allen just shook his head, reached up to wipe the tears away, and cleared his throat. “Um, I’m just... feeling a lot right now. Um, can we—can we talk a little more, maybe?”

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