Page 58 of For the Rest of Forever

“Of course,” Greg answered right away, and he leaned back in again and kissed Allen’s lips lightly. “I’d been thinking the same, actually.”

There was a quiet laugh, though Greg didn’t hear any humor in it, and he watched as Allen closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Something tugged at his heart—maybe it was the thought that Allen seemed so uncertain—and Greg wanted nothing more in that moment than to take away all of Allen’s doubts and anxieties.

It wasn’t in his power to do that, though. The best he could do was to be there, be what Allen needed, and bepresentand available and loving. And that hecoulddo.

He kissed his husband’s forehead again. “If you’re up for eating, I can make us some lunch. We’ve got stuff for sandwiches. And we can talk about whatever you want,” he suggested.

Allen nodded and gave Greg a small smile. “I think I could eat.”

“Good.”

Together, they got up and headed out to the kitchen, Greg supporting Allen the whole way since he was still unsteady. He helped Allen settle at the table and then got out all of the ingredients tomake sandwiches, sending a silent thanks to Darryl for grabbing mustard and mayonnaise even though Greg hadn’t added them to the list. A few minutes later, Greg set their two plates on the table, brought over a bowl of fresh strawberries, and got both of them glasses of water. Then he took his seat next to Allen, who was staring off toward the back slider door with a distant expression.

Greg reached over and ran his fingertips lightly down Allen’s forearm to his hand. “Did you want to sit outside on the patio, darling?” he asked quietly, squeezing Allen’s hand. But Allen shook his head.

“No, this is fine right here. Um, I just...” Allen trailed off, biting his lower lip as he dropped his eyes to his plate. “This looks wonderful, and I’m actually hungry,” he said with a light laugh. He started to pick up his sandwich, but then froze and frowned. “What you said earlier about... cutting back... Greg, I-I don’t want you to—” Allen shook his head and screwed his eyes shut, and when he spoke again, his voice was small and uncertain, like he was really having to force the words out. “I mean, did you... mean everything you said?”

Greg’s heart clenched, and he turned his chair to face his husband, then reached out and took Allen’s hand in both of his, brought it to his lips, and placed a gentle kiss on Allen’s knuckles. “Every single word.”

They leaned in toward each other, and their foreheads touched as Greg let go of Allen’s hand and framed his face.

“Every. Single. Word.” He pressed his lips to Allen’s in a brief kiss. “You are the most important thing in my life. And I want”—something rattled inside his chest, and he sucked in a deep breath before continuing—“to spend my time with you, not away from you. I want to be with you, take care of you, go places with you or stay home with you. I just want... more time with you, my love. And I mean that—allof it.”

“I-I... I want all of that too,” Allen said hesitantly, pulling back slightly. His eyes met Greg’s, and they looked stormy and troubled but clear. “But—but you can’t... just because I’m a mess, and...”

Greg shook his head, letting his hands slip back down to take Allen’s again. “No, no. You’re not a mess, Allen. You’re beautiful. And kind. And brilliant. And you’re also complex and you feel deeply and love unconditionally. It’s true that all the, uh, circumstances in the last few weeks have made me realize just how much I’ve been missing. But, Allen, I mean every word. And—and I—”

A shaky breath escaped him, and he blinked several times and looked down. He wasn’t sure what else to say right then, except maybe the most obvious thing. He swallowed hard and lifted his eyes again. Allen was watching him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears and his lips pursed in a tight frown.

Another kiss. And this time, Greg was the one who needed it.

Greg closed the distance between them, tilting his head slightly, and captured his husband’s lips in a tender kiss that was deep and loving and that he hoped conveyed everything he needed it to. When they parted, his heart stuttered. Allen had closed his eyes and had a small smile on his lips, and in that moment, it felt like everything.

“And I love you, and I’m so, so incredibly grateful you’re here and we’re together,” Greg continued.

Allen’s smile grew even a little more, though he still had his chin lowered, and he sniffled and nodded with an acceptance Greg hadn’t entirely expected. “I love you too,” Allen whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “And... and me too. I’m so grateful for you and for us... I’ve never wanted anything else.”

There was a pause, and when Allen finally looked up at Greg, his eyes so full of love, the biggest flutter of hope Greg had felt in a long while spread through his chest—hope and relief and some bright warmth all at once. He inhaled deeply and touchedAllen’s cheek again. “You’re all I want and all I need, Allen. And I just want to spend the rest of our forever with you, my love. That’s all.”

More tears fell from both of them, but Greg wiped Allen’s away with gentle fingers, and then they kissed again, another long, deep kiss that seemed to hold all the promises and reassurance of three decades of love.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Allen

“There we go!” Gregclimbed into the driver’s seat of the SUV and gave Allen a wide grin that was much too eager for how early it was. “The trailer’s all hitched up and ready to go.”

Allen yawned and glanced at his watch. “Ugh, not even five,” he complained with an exaggerated groan. “I’m getting too old for this, you know.” His tease was an echo of the easy banter they’d had the last time they were leaving Friday Harbor, and he tried for a silly smile as well. But it really was much too early—even if he wasn’t actually too old—so he was pretty sure whatever smile he managed probably missed the mark by a bit.

Greg didn’t seem to mind, however, and he laughed lightly and played along. “If you’re old, what does that make me?”

“Definitely an old geezer,” Allen joked, and he leaned his head back against the headrest and tilted it slightly to look at his husband. Greg’s expression was soft now, his small smile full of love and some other emotion that Allen was too sleepy to interpret.

With a nod, Greg reached over and touched Allen’s cheek, then he straightened again and started up the SUV. “As long as we don’t miss the early ferry, we should be home on time for you to go to work. If you still wanted to, that is.”

Allen yawned again but nodded at the same time. “I do. Although I...” He shook his head to push away the guilt he felt and let out a short breath.

They’d talked about this already; in fact, it had come up several times in the last three days. He didn’t need to feel guilty about asking Greg for support. It was normal and expected that he’d still feel unsafe at the library alone after everything that had happened. And most importantly, Greg did not and would not ever feel inconvenienced or irritated or unhappy to accompany Allen to work and stick around until Casey or Annabeth showed up.

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