Page 90 of Imperfectly Perfect

Fallon pulled away, concern in her furrowed brow. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” Savannah didn’t want to stop touching. They’d done this before, and they’d been fine. Well, Fallon had been perfect. Savannah, however, had been anything but.

Fallon slid her thumb along Savannah’s lips, smiling sweetly at her. Where were all the worries from before? All the hesitations and fears? Savannah couldn’t find them, not in Fallon at least. Her own were raging and clawing their way up her chest and into her throat.

“What is it?” Fallon tried again, skimming her hand down Savannah’s arm and lacing their fingers together.

“I wish I didn’t have the problems that I do.” The words blurted from her, but she knew they didn’t make much sense. Savannah shook her head and dropped her forehead onto Fallon’s chest. “I’m not talking about Forrest right now, to be clear. I’m talking about me.”

“What problems?” Fallon cradled her, hands wrapped around Savannah’s back and simply held her in a sweet embrace.

“I’m fat.”

“You’re not.”

“Fallon,” Savannah growled out her name. “I need you to hear me. Don’t ignore what I’m saying.”

“All right.” Fallon pulled back, locking their gazes together. “I’m sorry. Will you try again?”

“I’ve never been skinny, but I’ve never been this fat either.” Savannah clenched her jaw. “I’m not sure I can do this.”

“We’ve done this before.”

Savannah shook her head. “No, we haven’t, not with the strap.”

“Oh.” Fallon straightened her shoulders and looked around, as if the toy would be lying around in wait. “But you have used one before, right?”

“Decades ago.”

“So you’re worried now because…” Fallon trailed off, clearly waiting for the explanation of a lifetime.

“Because my body doesn’t move like it used to. Because things don’t always feel right.” Savannah’s cheeks burned from the embarrassment. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”

Fallon scrunched her face and then sat on the edge of the bed. She patted the mattress next to her and waited for Savannah to sit. Taking her hand, Fallon brought her knuckles up to her lips and kissed them. “We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But I want to,” Savannah countered. “I really do. It’s just these fears keep coming up.”

“Careful now, you’re starting to sound like me.”

Savannah let out a snort and rolled her eyes. “Different fears than yours.”

“Fears nonetheless.” Fallon kissed Savannah’s knuckles again. “You’re afraid your body won’t do what it’s supposed to do.”

Shaking her head, Savannah relaxed. “I’m afraid that you won’t find me attractive, and I know how stupid that sounds because you’ve proven that’s not true, but I can’t stop—”

“The fear,” Fallon interrupted.

“Yeah. I never used to be this way.” Savannah wrapped her hands tightly together, twisting them in her lap. Shame filled her soul, and she hated every second of it. She wished it would vanish into the darkness along with Fallon’s fear.

“Then what changed?”

“If I say his name, you’ll get mad.” Savannah frowned. “But I don’t want to feel this way, not anymore. I don’t like it.”

“Good.” Fallon cupped Savannah’s cheek and brought their lips together. “Because I would hate for you to feel this way for the rest of your life.”

“So you should know that I’m worried about how this will happen, but I want it to.”

“Just tell me everything. Uncomfortable? Pain? Worry? New position? We’ll do whatever you want.” Fallon pulled Savannah’s lips to hers, lingering in the kiss.

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