Page 25 of Love and War

My fingers curled into fists at my side. I didn’t want to leave her, but she didn’t want me. I wanted to march back inside, beg her to tell me why she was crying.

I could go back inside, hold her, and let her cry her heart out. Let her know that I was here for her and that I wasn’t going anywhere. That I was never leaving her again.

I could stay here, wait for her to leave, if she ever did.

I mean I didn’t have my own car currently; Zane had picked it up. So it was either walk back to Salem’s house, my safehouse, or have Zane come pick me up.

I felt completely useless. Iwasuseless.

Listening to her cry was wrecking me. I hated that sound. I wanted her to laugh. It had been so long since I’d heard that sound from her.

I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t listen to her cry anymore.

Reopening the front door, I glanced around. Of course she was nowhere in sight. She had to be in her bed. Taking a deep breath, prepared to make this all worse, I headed towards her bedroom. The hallway to the left of the living room was bare, only a few doors. The last one on the right had to be her room since it was cracked.

Pushing her door open, I was hit with small whimpers, her soft cries. The blankets covered her body completely. My feet were moving before I knew it. Kicking off my shoes, I pulled the blanket back and climbed inside. I expected her to protest, to scream at me, kick me, even punch me in the face. Do anything else but she threw her arms around my waist, burying her face into my neck. I could feel the snot and her tears soaking into my skin. She threw her leg over me until she was basically lying completely on top of me.

Her grip on me tightened, and her hand traveled up to my neck, pressing her palm against my throat. Holding me. I could feel her hot cunt pressed against my hip bone, and it took everything in me not to grind my hard cock into her thigh. She didn’t need that right now. Her hot breath against my neck caused my skin to break out in goosebumps. Her grip on my throat tightened as she sniffled.

“I–I told you to leave.” Her voice was raspy from crying.

“Well, technically I did, but I came back.” I could feel her smile against my neck, making me smile myself.

“You’re being a smart ass.”

“I am smart, and I guess I have an ass if that’s your type of thing,” I tried joking. But the silence told me everything. She didn’t care for my joke. Instead her grip tightened around my throat, her fingers pressing into the side. It was something she always did when we slept with each other, she needed her hand around my throat. She said it grounded her.

“Why are you here, Killian?” she finally asked, letting out a long sigh.

“Would you believe me if I said it was simply because I wanted to?”

For a moment I didn’t think she was going to answer until she nudged herself closer to me somehow.

“No.”

I shouldn’t be hurt by that; I was the one who walked away. I left without notice, without telling her it was something Ihadto do. That I was forced to leave her side. And now it’s been six years, I doubted she would believe anything I said.

“I’ll get you to trust me again,” I mumbled into her hair. Grabbing her thigh, I hitched it up higher, placing my hand on part of her thigh and ass.

“We’re not having sex, Killian.” Her breath broke from her sobs.

“I’m not here to have sex with you, Aziza.” Even if I wanted nothing more than to sink into her. To feel her warm pussy swallow my cock…fuck.

I willed myself to calm down and for my dick to deflate. I didn’t crawl into bed with her for that. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to let her cry into my neck and make all her troubles fall away.

“It– it was Holly,” she whispered.

I couldn't have heard her correctly. Tilting my head down, it forced her to look up at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, her bottom lip was swollen from chewing on it, and her nose was pink from crying.

“I must have heard you wrong, what did you say?”

Rolling her eyes, she nudged her head back into my neck. Chuckling, I let her snuggle further into me.

“I think your hearing is just fine.” Letting out a sigh she continued on, “She likes to come over and basically make my life hell.”

“Why?”

“I moved into this house just before you… uh, left. I got away from her, but she keeps coming around looking for something that I can’t give her.” I could hear the strain in her voice, the pain she felt.