Page 39 of Someone You Deserve

I remove the clip from my hair and toss it onto the coffee table. “Of course there’s affection there. It’s Penn. I’ve known him for most of my life. Even when Brandon and I were stationed in Yuma for a few years, Penn would come out to visit us. He was the best man in our wedding, waited in the hospital when both kids were born, and has been there whenever I’ve needed him since Brandon died.”

“Sounds like a pretty great guy, like a man you can count on. Way better thannice.” Willow looks at me knowingly.

“That’s the thing, Willow…Idocount on Penn.”

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t consider crossing that line?”

I take another drink of my wine. “Do you want me to admit that I’ve thought about it?”

“Uh, yeah.” She laughs.

“Fine. Ihavethought about it, more than I probably should.”

Her face softens. “And he’s never said anything to you?”

I stare off into space across the living room. “No, he has…but I shut it down.” I chug down the rest of my wine after that admission.

Willow’s eyes bug out. “What? When did this happen?”

“A little over three years ago,” I tell her. “It was the anniversary of Brandon’s death. There were copious amounts of tequila involved, and we kissed.”

“Holy shit!” Willow shrieks before covering her mouth and lowering her voice. “Sorry.”

“But that was it,” I continue quickly. “It was a momentary lapse in judgment.”

“And nothing ever happened after that?”

“Nope.” I shake my head and reach for the bottle of wine. “And I imagine he’s moved on by now…”

She scoffs. “Uh, doubtful. But would you even be willing to go there again?”

I turn my face to meet her gaze. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t risk losing him. And he was Brandon’s best friend—people would have opinions,” I answer honestly.

Willow gives me a sad smile. “I get that. I do. I mean, hell…my relationship with Dallas had its complications too. But nothing worth having comes easily. And excuse my French, but fuck people and their opinions. They’re not the ones living your life, so they don’t get to dictate your happiness.”

I fluff the pillow behind me, more to stall than anything. “I’d rather have Penn as a friend than risk losing him.”

Willow sighs. “That’s too bad, because I know he must feel the same about you.”

I give her my attention again. “What makes you say that?”

“Because I’ve watched him, Astrid. And don’t get me wrong, my experience with men is negligible, but I’ve never seen a man show up for a woman like he does for you. Well, excluding Dallas, of course.” She winks. “Throughout the months when he was working on my house, I got to know him. He’s definitely the strong, silent type, but he’s loyal, hardworking, and selfless. He’s always helping others and pays attention to details. I just wonder if you’re both so worried about jeopardizing your friendship that you tiptoe around what you both really want, which could be something even better.”

Everything she said about Penn is true and why I value having him in my life.. “He was right there when Richard asked me out, Willow. Other than being an overprotective friend, he hasn’t made any move to stop me from going on that date.” My heart thrashes wildly as I finally voice that concern.

“Did you think he would?” Willow asks. “I don’t know him as well as you, but I get the feeling that storming in and claiming you isn’t really Penn’s style.”

Maybe it should be—because that would have been really hot.

But stuff like that is only hot in romance novels.

Yeah, I probably would have yelled at him for acting like he owned me.

“So you’re saying…” I continue, pulling myself from my thoughts.

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