Page 91 of Devoted

Chapter 29

Brooks

“Knock, knock.” I glance inside the office where Dr. Lexington is scribbling something across a paper on his desk. His head pops up just long enough to register that it’s me.

“Oh, hey Brooks. Come in.” He slides the papers back into a folder and then sits back in his chair, checking his watch.

I wanted to make sure to arrive at the hospital before my shift early enough to stop by his office and speak with him, colleague to colleague, man to man, son of one of his patients.

“I just wanted to thank you for this morning. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here with my mom, but she’s over the moon with the results and progress the chemo has made. And so am I.”

His smile is quick and vibrant. “My pleasure. She’s responding very well to the chemo, which is the outcome we want. We will start another round next week and continue our course of treatment. I’m quite optimistic at this point. Sometimes with stage three, it’s hit or miss with how the body will react to treatment.”

“Me too. You have no idea how much tension you’ve lifted off of my shoulders in the past few hours.”

He nods. “I get it. I see a lot of families in here dealing with cancer. It’s a group effort. You have to have a team of support behind you, but those people end up bearing the burden of that fight just like the patient.”

“That’s exactly how it feels. I just want to say thank you again for taking her on. I know you have a full caseload.”

He glances down at his watch and then peers back up at me. “It’s my pleasure. I actually have Jess’s surgery in less than two hours, so I’d better get a move on. But thanks for stopping by….”

My head spins as I try to figure out if I heard him correctly, a twilight effect overtaking my brain as his words repeat, making me dizzy as my pulse races to unhealthy levels.

“I’m sorry—did you just say… Jess’s surgery?” My entire body is vibrating from how hard my heart is beating right now, the weight I just felt had been freed has returned, burying me in an avalanche of anger and worry.

“Uh, yes. I thought you knew? I actually thought that may have been part of the reason for you dropping in today. You know you can sit in the observation room if you want to.”

The nausea from this morning returns tenfold as catastrophic thoughts start to plague my mind. “I had no fucking idea she’s having surgery today. But if you’re doing it, that must mean…”

“Shit,” he says, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m guess by your reaction she never told you, did she?”

I shake my head violently and then stand. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Brooks, I need you to calm down, please.”

“With all due respect, Thomas, I am way past the point of calming down. I want you to tell me right now why you would be performing surgery on Jess in a matter of minutes.”

He stands up slowly across from me, gripping the edge of his desk. “I can’t do that, Brooks. You know that and I’m sorry. But I will tell you that she’s in pre-op right now and you can go ask her yourself.”

I don’t waste another second as I barrel through his office door, out of the oncology department, and sprint down the halls of the hospital to get to her as quickly as I can. My legs are flying, my body shaking as I wait for the elevator to course down the cables and lower me to the operating floor where apparently she is waiting for surgery.

Surgery? What the fuck does she need surgery for? Why the hell didn’t she tell me?

She pushed you away, remember? And she didn’t tell you why. This has to be it.

The answer to the anguish I’ve been dealing with for weeks and more so in the past twenty-four hours is literally feet away from me as I close in on the pre-op doors.

“Hi, Dr. Bennet.” The receptionist greets me behind clear glass.

“Hi, Sam. I need to see Jess, please.” I can barely stand still as I wait for her to let me through.

“Of course.” The alarm on the double doors buzzes and then I dart for the handle, flinging it open and begin searching for the bay where she is. My feet carry me in a flash, and as I come around the corner, I see Katelyn sitting in a chair beside a bed, where Jess is laying in a hospital gown, covered in a blanket with a hairnet on. Her face is free of make-up and her cheeks are red as if she’s been crying. Both of their eyes are closed tight as they hold each other’s hands and I realize they’re praying, Katelyn’s words informing me of exactly what I’ve been missing.

“God, please watch over Jess. Please protect her, guard her life, and heal her as they rip the cancer from her body. And Mom, please make sure that I get my sister back. I can’t lose her too. We love you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Cancer? Jess has fucking cancer?

When Jess’s eyes pop open, they immediately lock on me and I hear the gasp come out of her throat.