Page 62 of Devoted

“Thanks.”

Dr. Hill rushes away and that’s when Brooks turns to me and our eyes lock across the hall. “Jess? What—” He moves to stand and walk over to me. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? You ran out of a five-year-old’s birthday and told me something happened to your mom. My first instinct was to rush to the emergency room to be there for you.”

“But I didn’t ask you to come.”

“I know that. But I want to be here. Is this,” I gesture to his mother lying in the bed, clearly sick and weak. “Is this what you’ve been hiding from me?”

His eyes close and his entire body sags in defeat. Then suddenly, he’s reaching for me, wrapping me in his arms as I feel the shudder racking his body. Brooks is crying while holding me tightly and it instantly cues tears of my own.

“Yes. She… she has cancer, Jess.” He releases the grip he has on me, but keeps his arms around my waist as I veer up at him, his soft brown eyes full of unshed tears.

“Brooks… oh my god, I’m so sorry.” My hand moves to his jaw to stroke his cheek and my heart breaks as I stare up at him. And then a familiar ache returns in my chest that I haven’t felt in years when his truth slowly hits me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I didn’t want to put a damper on what we were building with this ugliness. My mom has cancer and started chemo about two months ago. Her body is not reacting well, which is why I’ve had to leave you a few times.”

The phone call. The cancelled plans. The lack of response when we couldn’t meet up in the on-call room. It all had to do with his mother.

“This explains a lot.”

He nods and then presses his lips to mine. “There’s so much more to tell you, but I can’t right now. She spiked a fever and then fainted, hitting her arm on the corner of the kitchen counter as she fell. My aunt was there to prevent her head from hitting the tile, but she’s still bruised and seems to be fighting an infection. We’re waiting for blood work.”

“Is there anything I can do? We can cancel our trip if you’d rather be here…”

Brooks shakes his head and brushes his fingers down my jaw. “No. I know she’ll pull out of this. And we need that time away. My aunt will be with her, so I know she’s in good hands. And if my mom were awake right now, I know she’d tell me to go. I want that time with you. I want to be able to talk and explain everything to you.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

I press up on my toes and kiss Brooks, lingering for a moment as the meaning of the kiss shifts, along with my feelings towards him. This man, he’s going through so much emotional turmoil right now in his life—no wonder he didn’t want to blend our relationship with it.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No. In fact, I think you should leave.”

My stomach drops. “What?”

“Fuck. Sorry that didn’t come out right. I mean, I don’t want you to meet my mom like this. My aunt is here, and there’s nothing else to be done. I really just need to process this all and get the test results so we know what we’re dealing with, and I don’t feel like I can do that and worry about you too right now. I’m sorry if that sounds cold.”

“No. I get it. Alright, if that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I need from you, Jess.”

“Okay. Call me later, please.” I press my lips to his once more, his soft nips reassuring me that although he’s hurting, he still cares about me. And I try to hold on to that as I walk out of the hospital, take an Uber home, and lie in my bed alone, ruminating over my discovery.

Brooks’ mom has cancer.

And I’m not sure what that means for us moving forward.

There has to be a reason why he was hiding it.

And I’m terrified to find out if it’s a connection that we share.

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