Page 74 of The War and Deceit Series omnibus

I’m still out of breath myself, but I tilt my head in confusion, not sure why he thinks he needs to apologise.

“I was only going to give you a peck on the lips, I didn’t mean to maul you.” He laughs again, subtly trying to rearrange himself, but I see him, and I realise he’s just as turned on as I am.

“I think I was the one mauling you,” I joke, biting my own lip, still worried that I hurt him. He groans and turns away.

“Don’t do that, stop biting your lip,” he mutters, and I realise helikesit.

Hmm, I’ll remember that.

“I’m sorry.” He turns around to face me, his face more sombre now. “It wasn’t fair of me to do that, not when I’m leaving,” he reasons, and that tight feeling enters my chest again. “I just couldn’t leave without you knowing how I felt.”

“Thank you,” I reply lamely. I have no idea how to act in these situations, and I know I’ve answered wrongly when he grins and takes a step towards me. At least I’ve not said anything to upset him.

“No, thankyou,” he responds, leaning down and brushing a soft kiss against my lips. He pulls away before I have the chance to deepen it and smiles softly down at me. “Good night, Clarissa.”

“Good night,” I murmur, a daft smile on my face as I turn and walk out of the room. I can feel his eyes on me the whole time,and even when I’m back in my room, I can still feel the ghost of his lips against mine.

That night I sleep soundly, without a single nightmare or dream. It’s only when I wake up that I realise I forgot to tell Grayson about my plan with Tor.

Grayson left overnight. He told me of his plan to leave early in the morning as we parted ways last night, the memory of his kiss still tingling on my lips.

Breakfast had been a quiet affair, just myself with Jayne keeping me company. She had already eaten with the other maids and servants, but she made herself a cup of tea and sat with me. I’m in a bad mood today, and she seems to sense it as she watches me carefully.

“I’m sure he won’t be gone long.”

I look up from my porridge and raise an eyebrow, as if I couldn’t give a damn how long he’ll be gone for, but she just rolls her eyes, seeing right through me.

“Come on, I see the starry eyes the two of you give each other when you think no one’s looking.” My cheeks flush red and I drop my head again, focusing on my breakfast. “What did he say?”

“It’s not so much what he said...” I trail off, unsure how to continue, but Jayne gasps and almost slams her cup down on the table.

“He kissed you?” she practically screams, her face beaming but, seeing my tight expression, her grin drops and she frowns at me. “Did you not want him to kiss you? If he did anything against your—” She starts to rant, and I realise she misread my expression, believing I didn’t like what Grayson had done.

“No! No, he would never do anything against my will,” I assure her, and she seems to settle down, but her frown returns as she leans back in her chair.

“Then why don’t you seem happy about it?” I understand her confusion, I am just as confused. My thoughts are so tangled, switching one moment from happy to practical.

“Well, what happens now?” I ask with a shrug, pretending her answer isn’t important, when I’m actually desperate to hear her response. What if I’ve unwittingly entered into some sort of agreement by returning his kiss? I’ve overheard in some communities that they’re bound to marriage as soon as any physical actions happen. I like Grayson, but these feelings are new and fragile, I don’t want to be forced into marriage just because I kissed him back and didn’t know the consequences!

“What do you mean? You kissed, that’s that,” she says matter-of-factly, and I simply stare at her.

“So when he gets back, he’s not going to expect...” I’m not quite sure what I’m asking, but I never had the chance to speak with him about what any of this meant before he left.

“I forget you don’t know about this kind of thing,” she murmurs, her expression turning thoughtful. “You only kissed, you’re not bound to him for life, Clarissa. When he comes back, you can talk about it and see if you’d like to take things further.”

Relief floods through me, and I feel like I can simply enjoy the fact that he kissed me without having to worry about the implications. So instead, I answer Jayne’s questions, blushing behind my cup as I try not to think about the fact Grayson could be gone for a long stretch of time. It’s going to feel strangewithout him being around to protect me, but I know one thing for certain, I need to learn how to protect myself.

The rest of breakfast is quiet, and as we return to my room, I see the plain, but beautifully made dark blue dress, and know I’m going to be working with the priests again. I’m worried about what they might have me doing now that they have so much more power. I know they want to kill both Vaeril and me, so now that Grayson is gone, there isn’t anything stopping them. I also realise with a shock that I’m disappointed at the thought I might not see Vaeril.

It’s not because I like him. It’s because I made a promise to him, and I feel bad that I’ve not fulfilled it yet,I justify to myself, but part of me knows that’s not the full truth.

After I dress, I sit in front of the mirror and watch as Jayne braids my hair, and I find myself missing my golden locks. Snorting at that thought, I shake my head, receiving a scowl from the maid as she tries to sort my hair. Grayson explained that the magic that changes my hair is actually woven into the room and depends on the day. If I’m to be ‘Lady Clarissa,’ my hair will change to gold, whereas if I’m to work with the priests, it will stay my natural colour. I don’t fully understand the magic, but I don’t look too deeply into it.

A knock at the door makes my stomach lurch, and I brace myself for the day ahead. Jayne leaves the room to answer the door, and I smile when I hear the voice calling through. Standing, I exit my room and walk into the main living space, beaming as I see Wilson leaning against the doorframe.

“Wilson, I wasn’t expecting to see you this morning,” I greet, but his smile is tight, and as I step farther into the room, I see two guards are standing behind him. They look mad, but they are behaving around the magician.

“Lady Clarissa, you look beautiful,” he says with a flourish as he steps into the room and presses a kiss against my hand.He winks, knowing I’m not posing as a lady today, but it makes me smile anyway. “Grayson thought you might need an escort to make sure nothing happens during your... community service,” he explains in a low voice. I smile at his description of my work with the priests. I guess that’s a nice way of putting it.

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