Page 48 of Sinful Lies

“You’re safe,” I whisper out loud as I press a tremblinghand to my heart. “Your body is just responding to the memory. You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

I was taught to rationalize my body’s response out loud to try and snap myself back into the present. To remind myself that this is a fear response, nothing more.

But if the spiral is too far gone, no amount of positive self-talk is going to bring me back.

My heart continues to hammer in my chest as the memories continue to flood my mind. My stomach churns, but there’s nothing left to bring up, so I’m left dry heaving over the toilet.

I need to get out of here. Dimitri can’t see me like this.

Climbing to my feet, I stagger over to the sink and turn on the faucet to splash some cold water on my face before sneaking back into the bedroom.

Glancing at the bed, I exhale at the sight of Dimitri’s sleeping body. The last thing I need is for him to have heard me throwing up.

I hate leaving him like this, but I have no choice.

Grabbing my overnight bag, I quickly pull on a pair of leggings and a T-shirt and slide my feet into my sneakers.

I glance around and cringe as I notice the dark outline of my wedding dress lying in a heap on the floor.

Last night with Dimitri feels like a fever dream, and I had to wake up eventually.

I hurry to the desk and scribble Dimitri a note on the hotel stationary.

He doesn’t deserve to wake up alone without some kind of explanation, but before I can face him, I need to snap myself out of the spiral that is starting to drag me back under.

The only way I can do that is alone and in the safety ofmy apartment where I can sit in the darkness until it starts to clear.

He doesn’t need to see me like this. He deserves better. He deserves someone who isn’t broken. So, I let him know that I’ll meet him at his penthouse tomorrow evening once I’ve gotten my shit together.

Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I slip out of the door without a backward glance.

12

DIMITRI

I reach across the bed,ready to pull Zara back against my chest and press my already hard cock against her plump ass, but I find it empty.

My eyes fly open to find her side of the bed crumpled and vacant.

“Zara?” I push myself up into a seat position.

The room is empty, so I assume she’s taking a shower.

I quickly throw off the covers and go in search of her.

Last night was meant to be a one off, a way to get Zara out of her head, but maybe we can extend that to a morning session in the shower because the thought of her naked body dripping wet has me groaning with the need to take her.

I knew sex with Zara would be incredible, but notthatincredible. I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life, and the sweet sounds of her coming undone will be forever etched into my mind.

This is going to be some arrangement indeed.

“Zara?” I call out as I push open the door to the bathroom. I was expecting the sound of the water running, forthe mirror to be steamed up, and to find her naked body soaped up and ready for me. But it’s also empty.

She’s gone.

My heart skips a beat as my mind goes to the worst-case scenario. It’s Gilanto all over again. Someone got in while we were sleeping and took her right out from underneath me.

I was meant to protect her. Ipromisedto protect her, and on our first night as husband and wife, I broke that promise.

---