Page 32 of The Break Out

The Collee past won’t taint her in any way. When I look up at my brother, I can see the same promise written all over his face.

We can’t control our past, but we can make a better future and I know that’s exactly what Evie is going to get. An amazing loving mom and three dads who will protect her in every single way possible. Aunts that will spoil her rotten. And every single one of us showing her unconditional love.

Nothing else matters in this moment except her and I’m so glad I got to be a part of it.

Which is why when I finally leave the hospital by midday, because Chandler wanted to take a nap I walk into my dark and quiet apartment and the loneliness hits me. I collapse onto my bed and Ellie immediately joins me, curling up to my side like she can tell I need her.

I try not to feel too sorry for myself as my eyelids drop and the adrenaline rush of the night fades, but it’s hard to stop my spiraling thoughts from taking over as I drift off. This will always be my life. Coming home to just my cat, always being the aunt and the friend to everyone. I’ll just have to accept that at some point.

16

If I have to hear Dumont bitching about how he wants to get back to Chandler one more time I’m going to punch him in the fucking face.

I guess she had their kid the other day and now we are on a road trip for the next five days. The NHL doesn’t give a shit about babies being born during the season, we don’t get time off so he just has to suck it the fuck up. Collee isn’t talking about it, which isn’t surprising. He’s ignoring me a little more, which I enjoy. McQuaid even acts like he wants to get back which is weird for him.

I drown everyone out with my headphones on while we fly to our next destination, Toronto. I pull out my phone to change the song and find myself looking at my text chain with Brynn where my last few texts have gone unanswered. It annoys me, I like our interactions, getting her pissed off is one of the few things that brings me joy outside of hockey.

If she doesn’t respond the entire time I’m gone, then I’m stepping it up once we get back and I knowexactly how I’m going to do it. She likes making bets, so I have one in mind. But that will have to wait.

Once we get to the hotel, I hear some of the guys talk about wanting to go out. Of course, none of them tell me directly and I’m not about to tag along where I’m not wanted. I think about going out alone, but I need to be on top of my game tomorrow and risking a hangover isn’t worth it.

Instead, once I get into my hotel room and strip down to just my boxers, I decide it’s time to fuck with the princess a bit more.

I take a picture of my bare chest down to the bulge in my boxers and send it to her along with a message.

Colton: This could be your view if you’d just give us both what we want.

Baby Collee: I now have to bleach my eyes and throw my phone out the window.

Colton: Quit lying to me, I know you saved it. Probably will make it your background. Now it’s your turn.

Baby Collee: NEVER HAPPENING.

Colton: I can’t wait to have you underneath me, Princess.

She doesn’t respond again, and I think about calling her, but decide to leave her alone. For now.

This team fucking sucks.

I’ve known this, obviously, but I feel like it’s gotten so much worse.

This game against Toronto started off strong but went downhill during the first power play they got when McQuaid got an interference call. I slammed my stick against the boards when that fucking buzzer went off signaling the goal. I’m shocked it didn’t break, part of me wanted it to.

“Keep your shit together, Wheeler, or we will end up with another fucking penalty thanks to you,” Coach’s stern tone comes from behind me.

I mumble a, “yes Coach.”

During the second period, Collee ends up getting a goal that ties us up and once the third period starts it’s a race to see who can get a goal first to win the game. My shifts go by in a blur as I do my best to ignore everything that isn’t the puck and my stick. I get close to scoring, but the damn puck hits the cross bar instead of going into the net.

This time I do break my stick when I slam it down.

With only thirty seconds left of the game, by some fucking miracle, Dumont ends up scoring. When the next play starts, Toronto pulls their goalie for the last few seconds and its high pressure six against five while we do our best to run out the clock.

The final buzzer never sounded so sweet, and we actually won a fucking game.

It’s about time.

After we all get on the bus, I hear some of the team talk about going out to celebrate, and while I don’t really want to join them, I do want to go out since it’s been too long.

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