Page 103 of The Break Out

Chandler invited Audrey, Spencer, and me over to watch the Dragons against the Spartans because it’s going to be a bloodbath. Kenneth hasn’t been playing since the news dropped while the team decides what they’re going to do, but that doesn’t change how tense things will be without him.

I didn’t want to go. No one knows what happened with us. I’ve avoided telling Spencer what happened and luckily have the excuse of the guys being gone anyway. When I tried to cancel, Chandler begged me to come and since she used Evie to guilt me, I couldn’t say no.

So here I am, on the large couch, watching the announcers talk about some of the players as they skate around the ice before the game. I’m trying not to pay attention, but when his name is said I can’t help my reaction, looking up and watching him, looking down at the ice as he skates.

“Colton Wheeler, a surprising trade last year, hasn’t shown the improvement he should for a player of his caliber. He’s solid, but his lack of teamwork has been his downfall recently.”

I hardly register what they’re talking about. All I can see is his face, how muted he looks. The air around him that’s usually filled with his cocky energy seems gone as he continues to look down, and flicks a puck away, but hardly lifts his head.

The main thing I think as I look at him is that I miss him.Fuck, I miss him.

“You okay?” Spencer asks, sitting next to me.

I paste a fake smile on my face. “Yeah, of course.”

She looks over to the screen just as it switches back to the announcers, but she catches on quickly. “Did something happen?”

I shake my head, already feeling like I could cry. “No, it’s okay, Spence.”

“Spill,” Audrey prods, sitting on the other side of me.

“Nothing to spill.” I shrug.

“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter. What happened?”

I go to deny it, but then decide against it. I can’t keep doing this, I’ll push away everyone eventually, which is why I tell them everything. Starting from the beginning. We miss the start of the game, but no one seems to care as they hang on to every word. Spencer already knows most of it, but even she’s enthralled as I rehash my entire…relationship?Is that even what it was?

“And then he left,” I finish. The TV is quiet with the game commentary in the background as my friends just stare at me.

“Hold on, you just let him leave?” Spencer asks gently.

I nod. “Yeah. I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

Their chorus of “nos” ring out, but I don’t believe them.

“Look.” Audrey gets my attention. “I get it. I didn’t want anything serious with Charlie. I was fucking terrified of anything that looked, talked, smelled, acted like a relationship. But that man loves me more than anything in the entire fucking world and I could have easily fucked it up if I didn’t move past my own fears to give him a chance.”

“How though?” I question.

“Leap of faith, babe,” she says as she shrugs.

“What if I get hurt though? What about Brent?” I groan.

Chandler waves me off. “Don’t worry about him, focus on you and what you want.”

“I just want…” I pause, thinking of everything I want. My family, love, to not feel so fucking lonely all the time. But I look around at the women here and I know that they have become my family too. I may feel alone at times, but at the end of the day I’m not. I miss Bryson, Bailey, and even Brandon, but I do have a family. I have someone that helped fill in a piece of my heart, but he took it with him when he left my apartment the other day.

I don’t get to finish my sentence because we’re all pulled to the screen as a fight breaks out on the ice.

Colton and a player on the Spartans I don’t recognize have solid holds on each other’s jerseys while they exchange significant blows. The Spartan’s player has his helmet knocked off and Colton is raining punches down on him in a fury. I’m horrified at the sight, while also worried about him.

When the two of them fall onto the ice, Colton doesn’t let up and it takes two refs to pull them apart and as Colton is escorted to the penalty box he’s still yelling at the other guy, even as the glass door shuts in his face.

The camera changes to the other player who’s leaving the ice back to the locker room. Then, we see Colton looking down at his knuckles, stretching his hands out before grabbing a towel to wipe them, then his face where I see a split lip, but that’s it.

All eyes swing to me, and I shrink onto the couch with a quiet, “What?”

Audrey’s the first to speak up. “That was fucking hot.”

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