Page 52 of Ace

"But they did anyway," I predict.

His laughter shakes my entire body. "Jax and Rob kept their promises by falling for each other."

"Oh." Laughter escapes my lips. "And Noah?"

I feel his hesitancy in the way he shifts his body slightly, but he seems to settle when I press my palm to his chest.

"Noah fell in love with the wrong woman."

"She was bad?"

"Not bad, exactly," he begins, his hand running up and down my back in the most soothing way. "She was connected to bad people. She was raised differently than most. Nearly everyone is dedicated to family, but when there's fear of really bad things happening if that loyalty is questioned, it makes you approach things in a different way. She went about a situation the wrong way and it ended tragically."

"She died?"

I feel his answer in the deep inhale that expands his chest against my hand.

"And Noah, too?"

"Yeah," he says, pain in his tone. "And Noah, too."

My heart seizes for a man and woman I'll never have the chance to meet but I understand why he's telling me these things. He's not trying to one-up me. He isn't trying to tell me to suck it up, that life goes on despite our losses.

He's telling me he fully understands my loss. Noah was like a brother to him, and from his story, he was possibly much closer to that man than I've ever been to Sadie.

I inch in closer, taking comfort in the heat of his body as we just exist in each other's space.

I know lines are being blurred. I know I should probably be alone in my grief rather than focusing on his, but it feels as if he's helping to dull that deep ache inside of me.

"I don't think a day has gone by in the last ten years that I haven't wondered how different things could've been if we'd stayed in Cerberus, if he'd fallen for a woman there in New Mexico."

Regret fills his tone, proving his earlier words that there are some things that even time can't touch.

Regret is something I fully understand. I'm drowning in a sea of it right now, and I know it'll be a long time before I—if ever—allow myself a reprieve from it.

"I wonder if he would've had a happy, long, fulfilling life if I hadn't been a part of it at all."

This pondering makes me pull my face back so I can look up at him, but the room is too dark to see anything more than shadows across his face.

"You'd give up every happy memory?"

"In a heartbeat," he whispers.

I could easily argue that Noah made his own choices. His connection to Eddie had nothing to do with the outcome of his tragic death, but then I'd be a hypocrite. I'd have to acknowledge that Sadie's choices were her own and that I had nothing to do with her demise, but I'm not there yet.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," I tell him, lifting my hand to the side of his face, his beard tickling my palm.

I resist the urge to press my lips to his because he quickly shut that down earlier in the day, but this time it's him that leans forward and brushes his mouth on mine. It's his tongue seeking entrance. One swipe of his tongue across mine is all he allows before pulling back and pressing his lips to the top of my head. But it's enough to light something inside of me that feels stolen, as if it's something I shouldn't have but I'm tempted to take and hide away for later.

"Try to get some sleep, Cora," he urges, the rumble of his voice coming from deep in his chest. "Today was bad, but tomorrow is going to be much worse."

Chapter 23

Ace

I took a break to get away from this place, but look where it landed me, in an ICE field office in fucking San Diego.

I'd rather be anywhere else, but I know the urge to run from the room and find a beachside bar that is fully stocked with whiskey has more to do with her and the fresh pain and grief she's suffering than anything else.

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