Page 19 of The Widow and the Orcs

Louisa’srelieved laugh bubbled up on its own, her shoulders slightly relaxing. “Ofcourse he would, the utter bastard,” she said, with a wry grin towardUlfarr’sface. “Ican’t imagine what it must be like co-parenting with him.Youmust have the patience of a saint.”

She’dagain meant it as a joke, perhaps just wanting to seeUlfarrsmile again, to hear his lovely deep voice.Butinstead, his big body stiffened on the bed, his eyes wary again, his fingers spasming against hers.

“Killik… spoke to you of this?” he asked, in a tone she couldn’t quite read. “Of… our son?”

Louisaswallowed, and gave what she hoped was a dismissive shrug. “Notin detail,” she said quickly. “Buthe did mention that you weren’t able to have sons of your own, so you ended up adopting together instead.”

Shewas watchingUlfarrtoo carefully now — would he argue any of that, or had he perhaps not wanted her to know about his son?Andyes, something dark had indeed passed across his eyes — but then he nodded, his breath slowly exhaling.

“Ach, we have had our son for two summers now,” he replied. “Hisname isSune, and he is now fourteen summers old.Heis a quick, cleverSkai, but just as stubborn and headstrong as his strike-father — asKillik, you ken.”

Ashe’d spoken, his voice had softened again, his eyes glimmering with unmistakable affection, with pride.Enoughthat something convulsed inLouisa’sthroat, twinged low in her belly. “Well,I’msure he’s lucky to have you,” she said. “Andyou’re lucky to have him, too.”

Shecouldn’t quite hide the wistfulness in her voice, andUlfarr’shead tilted as he looked at her, not unlike the way he’d looked atKillikearlier. “Youhave no young of your own, then?” he asked. “Icannot smell this upon you, but my scenting —”

Hegrimaced and rubbed at his nose, but his eyes were intent onLouisa, waiting for her answer.Andthe air suddenly felt too hot, too thin, andLouisajerked a shrug, a shaky wave of her hand. “No, no children,” she said thickly. “Thoughin truth, it was for the best, because my late husband was a cruel, vicious old degenerate who only cared about himself.Andany child cursed with him as a father would have ended up —”

Gods, she couldn’t even say it, but there was a grim, surprising comprehension inUlfarr’seyes as he nodded. “Ach,Ifollow,” he said, quiet. “Iken this was the hand of our fatherSkai-kesh upon you.Hisblessing.”

Oh.Thatname sounded familiar — he’d mentioned it before, and it had to be some kind of deity, right?Andthough the idea of an unknown orc deity blessingLouisawith childlessness was utterly laughable, she found her breath exhaling, her hand squeezing againstUlfarr’sstill-clasping fingers.Asif in… solidarity.Ingratitude.

Andperhaps he felt it too, his warm hand drawing hers a little closer, as if he wanted her closer, too.Andit was too easy to follow it, to lean into his strength, into that widening space between his spread knees.Intothe rich, sweet scent that hung and whispered all around him, inviting her to draw in long, deep lungfuls of it.Gods, he smelled good, he looked good, and his thighs bracketing hers were so solid, warm, safe…

Hewas still studying her with intent, watchful wariness, and his hand slowly guided hers back to his mouth.Sohe could press a soft, careful kiss against her skin, even as his eyes kept searching hers.Seeking, perhaps, for any sign of hesitation, or reluctance, or fear.

Butthere was only a deep, convulsive shiver, rippling upLouisa’sspine, escaping in a ragged gasp from her mouth.Andshe could seeUlfarr’sshoulders settling, could feel his own unsteady exhale, as he kissed her hand again.Lingeringlonger this time, his lips warm, his tongue brushing light and soft.Asif he truly wanted to taste her, to treasure her, to savour every slow, shaky breath.

ItwasLouisawho turned her hand over this time, wanting to feel that warm tongue seeking into her palm, trailing up the inside of her wrist.Andyes, yes, it was there, gentle and eager and bizarrely, impossibly intimate.Anorc, sitting here in her bedroom, lavishing her with his lips and tongue, his nose brushing up against her dress’ sleeve.Feelingso, so good, flutteringLouisa’seyes closed, tilting her head back, sinking her into…

Ahand.Astrong, unfamiliar male hand.Touchingher, gripping powerfully at her hip, as if —

Louisayelped and staggered backwards across the room, her own hands flailing, clutching at her hip, at where there was — nothing.Nothing, no hand, no pain, no creeping sickening lord husband.

Only— she gulped for air, briefly squeezed her eyes shut — the orc.Theorc she’d invited into her bedroom.Theorc she’d wanted to kiss her, to touch her.Andthe orc who had already raised both hands between them, palms out, his face hunted and pale.

“F-forgive me,” he rasped, a sharp scrape in his throat. “Iought not —Idid not wish to —Iam — sorry,I—”

Ohgods, no no no, andLouisaflapped her hands, whipped her head back and forth. “P-please, it’s nothing,” she gasped back. “I’monly — nervous, that’s all.It’sbeen a long time, andI’mjust not used to —”

Shewinced, shook her head again, and made a desperate attempt at a smile towardUlfarr’sface.Buthis mouth was wavering, twisting, and his eyes looked even more hunted than before, almost… afraid.

“Killik,” he said, low and bitter. “He… did he truly bribe you to this, after all?Ortrick you, mayhap?Threatenyou?”

Acold, helpless misery flashed upLouisa’sspine, and she lurched a step back toward him, still shaking her head. “No!No,Imean, yes, he did offer to help me with the debts, but” — she drew down more air — “I’vebeen wanting something like… this.Likeyou.Fora long time.Andwhen we met today, you were so lovely, and kind, and — and handsome —”

Goodgods, she wasn’t truly saying this, spouting all this to an orc she’d just met?Butyes, yes, damn it, she’d said it, she’d made it into stark, shameful truth between them.Shewanted this.Gods, she wanted this.Shewanted to drown all the horrible memories ofLordScallin this, she wanted to find even a few moments’ peace in this, with this handsome gentle orc in her bed.Andshe’d have wanted it even without the coin, without the agreement, or the ten nights.Andfor an instant, she silently cursedKillikfor not just asking, for making it into this horrid awkward mess…

Butbefore her,Ulfarrwas staring at her again, his eyes wide with disbelief. “You— you have this all wrong,” he replied, his voice cracking. “Iam not any of these,LadyLouisa,Iam —”

ButLouisacouldn’t bear it, not for another instant, and before she could stop it, she hurled herself the rest of the way toward him.Towardhis lap, oh gods, she was straddling an orc’s lap, throwing her shaky arms around his neck —

“Just— call meLouisa,” she choked. “Andjust — touch me.Please.”

Butwait.Wait, no, what was she doing, what ifUlfarrdidn’t want this from her, either — and curse it, he’d again frozen to stillness beneath her, his eyes shocked on her face.Andfar too late,Louisawinced and made to scramble backwards again, what the hell was wrong with her, what must he think of her…

“Wait,”Ulfarrbreathed, and in a swift movement, his hand swiped for hers, caught it in his grip. “Wait,Louisa.”

Louisainstantly obeyed, now hovering rigid and awkward over his thighs.Andwatching, her breath catching, asUlfarragain raised her hand, and brought it to his mouth.Hislips brushing against her skin, kissing soft and gentle, but eager, too.Stillwanting her.Stillwanting this.

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