Page 45 of Best Laid Plans

Even so, a huge part of her wanted to remain foolish. She longed to rush into Will’s arms again. She longed for him to kiss her, longed for a future where Will Carruthers figured in her life, no matter how remotely.

‘So,’ he said tightly. ‘You’re quite certain you want to ditch our arrangement?’

‘Yes, that’s what I want.’

His jaw clenched tightly and a muscle jerked just below his right cheek bone. For a moment, he looked as if he wanted to say more, but then he frowned, shook his head.

‘Will, I do appreciate your –’

He silenced her with a raised hand. ‘Please, spare me your thanks. I know what this is all about. It’s okay.’ Already he was heading back down the hallway to her front door.

Puzzled by his sudden acceptance, but aching with regret, Lucy followed. On the doorstep, she said, ‘Gina’s invited me to the twins’ christening. I guess I’ll – see you there’?’

‘Of course.’ He smiled wryly. ‘We’re the star godparents.’

It occurred to Lucy that this christening would be like the wedding – another gathering of their friends and families. Another ceremonial rite of passage. Another occasion when she and Will would be in close proximity. But she wondered if either of them could look forward to it.

The heaviness inside her plunged deeper as she watched Will swing into the truck. It was only as the driver’s door slammed shut that she remembered she hadn’t asked him about his job interview.

She ran down the path, calling to him. ‘Will, how was the interview in Armidale?’

His face was stony. ‘I didn’t end up going.’

Shocked, she clung to her rickety front gate. ‘Why not?’

‘When I really thought about working there, shut up in a building all day, preparing lectures, marking papers, talking to academics, I knew I wasn’t cut out for it.’

Before she could respond, he gunned the truck’s motor and sent it rattling and roaring to life. Without smiling, he raised his hand in a grim salute. Dust rose as he took off.

Miserably, Lucy watched him go.

Soon he would probably disappear completely, off to another remote outpost. Now, too late, she realised now that she’d been secretly hoping he’d get that job in Armidale and stay close.

At least Will had been honest with himself. He was right – unfortunately – Armidale wouldn’t have suited him. Alaska or Africa were more his style. Anywhere – as long as it was a long, long way from Willowbank.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THE CHRISTENING was perfect – sweet babies in white baptismal gowns, white candles, a kindly vicar, photos and happy onlookers.

But it was an ordeal for Will.

Lucy was a constant distraction in a floaty dress of the palest dove grey, and Gina and Tom’s obvious pride in their beyond cute, well behaved babies was a poignant reminder of her recent disappointment.

Spring was at its best with clear blue skies and gentle sunshine, but Will felt like a man on a knife edge. He so regretted not being able to help Lucy to achieve her goal of motherhood.

He was deeply disappointed that she wasn’t prepared to have a second try. In fact, the depth of his disappointment surprised him. It was disturbing to know that she’d found the whole process too stressful.

Will reasoned that his relationship to Josh was the problem. He was too strong a reminder of the man she’d loved and lost. Why else had she looked so miserable when he’d tried to convince her to keep trying?

After the church service, the Carruthers family held a celebratory luncheon at Tambaroora. Long tables were covered in white cloths and set beneath pergolas heavy with fragrant wisteria. Everyone helped to carry the food from the kitchen – platters of seafood and roast meat, four different kinds of salads, mountains of crispy, homemade bread rolls.

Two white christening cakes were given pride of place and crystal flutes were filled with French Champagne to wet the babies’ heads.

Will chatted with guests and helped with handing the drinks around and Lucy did the same, but apart from exchanging polite greetings, they managed to avoid conversing with each other.

It seemed necessary given the circumstances, as if they both feared that a conversation might give their strained relationship away.

Fortunately, no one else seemed to notice their tension. Everyone was too taken with the babies, or too eager to hear about Mattie and Jake’s honeymoon travels in Italy.

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