Page 44 of Best Laid Plans

‘I don’t know. Maybe I should have more tests. I’m so scared that my eggs aren’t up to scratch.’

Before she knew quite what was happening, Will closed the gap between them. His arms were around her and she was clinging to him, snuffling against his clean cotton T shirt and inhaling the scents of the outdoors that clung to his skin. Trying very, very hard not to cry.

His fingers gently played with her hair. ‘I’m sure your eggs are perfect. I bet they’re the healthiest, cutest little goose eggs ever.’

She muffled a sob against his chest.

‘We might have to be patient,’ he said.

‘Patient?’ She pulled away. ‘What do you mean?’

His eyes reflected bemusement. ‘In a couple of weeks we can try again, can’t we?’

No. No they couldn’t. She couldn’t do this again. It had been a mistake.

‘No, Will.’ Lucy swallowed. ‘I’m afraid we can’t try again.’

Unhappily she slipped from the haven of his arms and turned away from the puzzled look in his eyes.

‘But surely you’re not ready to give up after just one try?’

‘Yes, I am. Perhaps Nature knows best.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Perhaps friends shouldn’t try to be parents.’

‘Lucy, that’s not rational.’

‘I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but I couldn’t go through this again.’

Not with Will. It would be a huge mistake to sleep with him again. It was too painful, knowing that he was only being a friend to her, that he didn’t love her.

In the agonising stretch of silence he stood with his arms folded, frowning at a spot on the floor. Eventually, he said, ‘You’re disappointed right now. That’s understandable. But you’re sure to feel differently in another week or so.’

Lucy shook her head. ‘No, Will. I’m sorry. This isn’t a snap decision I made this morning. I’d already made up my mind last week. I decided I should give up on the whole idea of a baby if there was no pregnancy this month.’

‘But that doesn’t make sense.’

Tears threatened, but she kept her expression carefully calm. ‘It makes sense to me.’

If only she could she explain her decision without confessing that she had always been in love with him. But that meant talking about Josh and she felt too fragile this morning to go there.

Perhaps it was better to never talk about it. If they stopped the friendship plan now, they could leave the past in the past, where it belonged.

Somehow she kept her voice steady. ‘It was a great idea in theory, but I’m afraid it’s not going to work, Will. I might take months to fall pregnant.Friendsdon’t keep having sex month after month, or possibly several times a month trying to becoming parents.’

‘But I thought you really wanted to have a baby.’

‘Well, yes, I did want a baby. But –’ Oh, help. What could she tell him? ‘Maybe sex is different for guys,’ she finished lamely.

‘I wouldn’t be so sure about that.’

Lucy’s heart stuttered as she watched a dark stain ride up Will’s neck. Knotted veins stood out on the backs of his hands as he gripped the back of a kitchen chair.

Lucy knew she mustn’t cave in now. She should have recognised from the start that this convenient baby idea could never work. She should have known that her emotions would never survive the strain of making love to him when he’d only ever offered her friendship and a fly in-fly out version of fatherhood.

She should have heard the warning bells then. She’d been foolish to agree.

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