Page 52 of Crossed Sticks

After they left, Harper tilted his head. “Gabe’s really nice. How do you know him?”

I hesitated, but to hell with that. Harp and I both had pasts we shouldn’t be afraid to discuss. “We met not long after I moved to Buffalo,” I said. “We went out a few times, but it didn’t work.”

Harper treated me to one of his smirks. “What, you weren’t skinny and fake-blond enough?”

It was the first time I’d heard him throw shade, and it made me cackle. “That could have been part of it. But it wasn’t a good time, and we weren’t right for each other.”

Harper’s eyes told me he figured there was more to the story, but he let it drop. “Maybe we can all have drinks sometime, like Gabe said. It sounds fun.”

“Agreed. After we come back from Maine?”

“Good call.”

Ready to change the subject, I picked up a mozzarella stick and asked the first question that came to mind. “Is Nick Johnson as nice as I’ve heard? As big a star as he is, it’s hard to tell.”

“He’s one of the best men you’ll ever know. Nick would give anyone the shirt off his back, and being such a great guy makes him an inspiring leader.” Harp picked up a slice of Margherita. “I love his husband, too. His name’s Jacob, and when I was out last year after I hurt my shoulder, he would come by when the team was on road trips. He always brought food, but the best thing was talking to him. He was so sweet, there’s no wonder Nick’s crazy about him.”

“They’ve been together since college, right?”

Harp took a bite of his pizza before answering. “College for Nick, but law school for Jacob. He became a lawyer for a while, but eventually stopped so he could do more volunteer work.”

“Imagine marrying your college sweetheart. It’s like a fantasy.”

“True. Did you have a college sweetheart?”

“No, not really.” I tore into a slice of Romana, hoping he’d change the subject.

“What does that mean? Sounds like there’s a story there.”

My stomach churned. I’d always meant to tell Harper about Caleb, but it had never seemed like the right time. Talking aboutsuch a painful chapter in my life made me nervous. Though I knew Harp wouldn’t judge me, it might be hard for him to hear. I thought about asking if we could talk about it later, but that felt wrong. I wanted honesty to be the foundation of our relationship, and I liked Harp too much to avoid talking about things simply because they were difficult. “I didn’t date much in college,” I said. “Mostly screwed around, to be honest. I wasn’t…”

Harper finished his slice and reached for another ravioli. “Weren’t what? Don’t tell me a drop-dead model for Finley Sports Gear couldn’t get a date.”

The urge to deflect was strong, but I’d just been thinking about the kind of connection I wanted with Harper. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, if Harp didn’t know about Caleb, he’d never truly know me. I drank some cola, but there wasn’t much liquid courage in sugar and carbonated water. “It wasn’t that,” I finally said. “I tried to avoid commitment. There was this guy… Are you sure you want to hear about this? It’s not a happy story.”

Harper’s gaze softened into quiet understanding. “Only if you’re comfortable sharing. If it’s too hard, don’t let me pressure you. I’d never want to do that.”

The gentleness in his voice enveloped me like a cozy blanket. No one, not even Caleb, had ever cared about my feelings the way Harper did. I had panicky moments when I was afraid he might disappear, but the rational part of my brain sided with my heart:trust him.

I looked into his eyes and started talking. “My best friend is named Caleb. He was a year ahead of me, and I met him the first week I was at Marlowe. We were part of a friend group, but he and I hit it off more than the rest.”

“Was he your boyfriend?”

“No.” I took a few seconds to relax my jaw and breathe. “He and I spent a lot of time together, and for the first year and ahalf, we were only friends. I thought he was attractive, but you don’t make moves on your friends.” Harper nodded as I went on. “To make a long story short, things happened one night. Since we were both single, we agreed to be friends with benefits. It was fantastic, but after that year, during the summer right before he was a senior, I missed him so much.” I glanced away and mumbled, “I more than missed him.”

“You’d fallen for him?”

I nodded. “When school started, I was afraid to say anything. We were still close and hooked up like always. It was fun, but I…”

“Wanted more.” Harper’s soft smile made my breath catch. “You were in love with him?”

“Yes, but I couldn’t tell him that. He thought I was screwing around all the time when we weren’t together, but I’d just hang out with my buddies or lie in my room trying to find the courage to be honest with him.”

“That had to suck. What happened?” When I huffed, trying to break the tension in my chest, Harp misunderstood. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“It’s not that. Iwantto tell you.” I almost took another ravioli but thought better of it. “I came back from Christmas ready to tell him, but he’d changed. For the next month, we hung out a lot, but he was distant. We didn’t hook up. Eventually, I found out he’d fallen in love with one of his professors.Daniel.” I shuddered and made a funny face.

Harper chuckled. “Daniel the Asshole?”

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