Page 103 of Crossed Sticks

“But I left for a while.”

Things went quiet, and I wondered if Luca had said all he had to say about it. Finally, he smiled. “Only partially, and really just that first week. But it was you not wanting to let go of what we had that made the difference. We’re always going to have disagreements and hard times, but as long as we work at it, we can fix anything.”

“True. I’m proud of you for working so hard.”

He scooted closer until our hips were touching. “I’m proud of you, too. It’s funny how our issues come down to some of the same basic insecurities.”

“That may be why we understand each other so well. My heart was closed for business because I felt like men had thrown me away, but those were never healthy relationships to begin with.”

“Was ours?”

I took a breath and smiled. “Yes, in a weird way. Dr. Mizell said starting out with sex gave me something to hang my hat on while we got to know each other. Liking the sex so much, and feeling like there was more to what we were doing than hooking up, made me more open to you than I’d have normally been.”

Luca leaned up to give me a brief kiss. “Coming back to me said a lot. If you didn’t trust me to some degree, you couldn’t have done it.”

He was right, but maybe not in the way he thought. “Once I believed you didn’t sleep with Caleb, things changed. At training camp, I spent too much time worrying about whether I was good enough for you, but that was the wrong thing to focus on. I loved you, and I needed us to be together. You never shamed me for my faults, and you even…” My cheeks burned.

“Even what?”

“Think I’m handsome when I come.”

“Oh baby, you’re the most beautiful when you come.”

Tears were running down my cheeks before I realized it. I sat up, and he put an arm around my back.

“What’s wrong, Harp?”

I swiped at the tears. “That right there is an example of why you’re helping me get myself together. You love me the way I am.”

Luca found a clean napkin in the bag from the restaurant, and I spent a moment cleaning up. We gazed into each other’s eyes while he traced a finger across my lips.

Another boat sailed by, bringing us back to the present. We lay down and rolled on our sides.

Luca pressed his lips together for a moment. “Dr. Putnam said we need to talk about what will happen when my season starts in December.”

“Busier times,” I said, feeling a twinge of anxiety.

“Exactly. Between the two of us, we’ll have a lot of practices, games, and road trips to keep track of.”

“Time not seeing each other,” I said. “I’ve thought about it.”

“It’ll be tough, but we’ve managed so far with your roadies.”

We lapsed back into silence. Our reluctance to discuss this showed how much we dreaded being apart. Putting it off was nogood, so I said, “You’re right that we can do it. You brought this up before, remember?” I winced, because if that was discussing it, I was Gordie Howe.

Luca chewed his lips. “We should talk about it again, babe. If we understand our feelings, we’ll handle them better.”

I thought about teammates who’d struggled with separations and hadn’t handled them very well. Though I wondered whether I should bring it up, what happened to them could put our situation into a better perspective. “You know D.C. has two hockey teams, the Barracudas and the Congressmen?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Harp, I’ve heard of them.”

I ignored his snarky tone. “Three years ago, the Congressmen renovated their arena. It was supposed to take two years, and the Cudas allowed the Congressmen to use their arena while the other one was out of commission. The league adjusted game schedules to make it work. When the Cudas were home, the Congressmen were away, and vice versa.”

“I remember hearing about it. Must have been a mess getting it organized.”

“I’m sure, but that’s not the point. Cleevs and Eckie are married to Congressmen. Gags was in the same position, but no one knew he was with Sven for a while.”

Luca nodded, his expression becoming serious. “So, since neither team was in D.C. at the same time, those guys were separated for the entire season?”

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