Page 10 of Solitude

It was overwhelming, and it sent a shiver down my spine at the thought of disappointing everyone I know.

Just a month ago, Sienna had told me we’d have the best summer ever together to make up for all the time we spent studying and cramming for finals and SATs—me more so than her.

Yeah, right.

We hung out for two days–watched movies, ate good food, made bracelets–then she messaged me and said we should really be preparing ourselves for the first semester of classes.

No, thanks.

“I…” I start when Cole doesn’t say anything. “I just want to have a chill summer before everything gets crazy.”

He stares down at me for a moment, and I can see the wheels turning in his head. “Scared of college, kid?”

I smile, too big and bright. “What? No!”

“I have a radar for liars,” Cole says. “I’m the oneperson in this town people don’t feel the need to put on a show for, so put away the megawatt grin before you hurt yourself.”

Huffing out a breath, I flick my eyes over to Beau and Mrs. Betty. She’s slapping his cheek lightly, her face stern, and suddenly I feel like we’re both being scolded.

I struggle to find any words though.

Mainly because Cole is right. I have been fully prepared to lie my little denim-clad butt off all summer to everyone in this town until I’m blue in the face and forced to violently vomit out the truth.

My throat feels tight, and I decide then and there to keep my secrets until I absolutely cannot anymore.

Cole seems to take pity on me. “Everything works out the way it’s supposed to, okay? One of life’s biggest lies is that you have to have it all figured out as soon as you turn eighteen.”

“I literally turned eighteen at five o’clock this morning, Cole.”

He chuckles, “And that’s why I’m saying you don’t need to stress about having it figured out, kid.”

“When did you figure it out?”

He pats my shoulder and solemnly replies, “I haven’t. Even at thirty, I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing half the time.”

Beau ushers Mrs. Betty out the door with a gentle hand on her back, placating her along the way with soft words and a lot of nodding. He shoots Cole a pleading look over his shoulder, and I stifle a laugh.

When Ifinally look back at Cole, I inhale deeply. “So we never really figure it out?”

“I guess I’ll let you know if I ever do,” he tells me with a wink.

I huff out a laugh and lift my mug high as I walk backwards away from him. “Thanks. I’ll be waiting, I guess.”

Cole gives me a dismissive wave and turns to the pallet, grabs a strap, and pulls it over the chairs to secure the stack, and I watch the way his t-shirt stretches over his biceps, tattoos peeking out from underneath the fabric.

Sweet Jesus. I need to go.

“Hey, Win!” Cole calls out just as I’m clearing the doorway, and I poke my head back around the frame.

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday, kid.”

My heart thumps harder in my chest, and my eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. Cole has become someone very near and dear to my heart over the last couple of years, and the thought of disappointing him at the end of summer makes me want to hurl myself out of a moving vehicle.

Especially when he does something as simple as remember my birthday.

My mind flickers to two years ago on that swing set when everything seemingly began to change for me, like it was the catalyst to living a life I’ve been dying for, and to the boy who made it happen before he disappeared.

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