Page 9 of Solitude

“What’s there to talk about?” I ask, finally looking at him and planting my hands on my hips. “Are you going to tell me I can’t come anymore?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what’s the big deal?”

Cole leans against the pallet and stares at me. “I’m here because I almost destroyed my life with drugs and alcohol. Beau is here because he helped pull me out of my addiction, and being a support person to someone who struggles with addiction is incredibly difficult.”

I frown. “I know that.”

“You do know. You know everyone’s story. You know why everyone walks into this room, Winnie. Do you see the level of trust and vulnerability there?”

“Yes, but I–”

“This is a safe place. Even for you.” He cuts me off, and his stare is intense. “No thought or feeling is too big or small here. There’s no competition.”

“I don’t have anything to share.”

Cole nods and sighs. “Just know that we trust you with our stories.”

Theyou can trust us with yoursis unspoken but heard, and I swallow roughly.

He doesn’t get it. He thinks I’m hiding some big feeling or problem. I’m not. Truly. I’m here because I like sitting with this group of people in the mornings. It gives me a reason to wake up and get out of bed. I enjoy the relationships I’ve formed because of this support group.

But I’m out of place.

There’s no deeper meaning for me. There’s no grief or addiction I’m struggling with daily, and I’m sure that feels unfair to the others within the group when I never have a story to share.

I just don’t want to walk away from the group when it gives me something I so desperately need.

Friendship. That sense ofmoreI’ve been desperately searching for.

Cole doesn’t press any further. He just grabs my travel mug from the floor, looks at the saying, and chuckles. “I don’t even want to know where you got this thing.”

Grabbing the cup, I grin. It has an excel spreadsheet wrapped around it, and it saysfreak in the sheetsin block lettering.

“I ordered it online, obviously.” I shrug and take a sip of my coffee, still warm and delicious. “What else is a girl to do besides read books and online shop?”

Cole starts ticking off fingers as he speaks, “Uh, go on dates, hang out with your friends, prepare for college? Just to name a few.”

“Geez,” I mutter with a grimace. “All of those sound awful.”

“Spending all of your free time here, at home, or in Sugar is–”

“Weird?”

Cole chuckles and shakes his head, running a hand through his brown hair. “That’s not what I was going to say, but now thatyou’vesaid it…”

“Hey!”

“What’s Sienna up to today?”

Shrugging, I slide the lid on my coffee cup back and forth a few times. “She’s busy prepping for the future and all that jazz.”

Cole tilts his head, like a hound dog with his nose to the ground, and I can see the moment he catches whatever scent he was searching for. “You don’t want to prepare for the future?”

Chewing my lip, I shrug again. “Not really.”

It’s common knowledge around The Hollow that when August comes around Sienna and I will be packing up our belongings and high tailing it to Harvard to follow in the footsteps of our parents before us. The entire week of graduation I was bombarded with congratulations and pats on the back.

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