Page 31 of The Love We Make

I knew Ethan was afraid I would get clingy and get the wrong idea after our night together. Therefore, the more things I had to keep me busy, the more I could prove to him that I was going about my life just fine.

“Nice,” Chase said, pulling his phone out. He grabbed a pen off my table and wrote a number from his phone down on a pad of paper. “This is the number to Margie, the coordinator. Tell her I told you to call and she will get you scheduled and fill you in.”

“Great!” I said excitedly.

Ethan threw his bag over his shoulder and came toward me. He kissed the side of my temple, “Later. We are off to see how many hole-in-ones I can get. I may not be in the big tourney but I need to hone my skills for the next one.”

“Enjoy your off day,” I waved as they made their way to the door.

Once they were gone, I sat in the silence for just a moment.

Something felt off and different. But not necessarily bad. It took me a few minutes to piece it all together but when I did, I stood up in a panic.

Goosebumps had risen on my arms at the sight of Ethan walking in my door like he owned the place. I never gave him much notice but today, I did.

Today, I took stock of the khaki shorts and polo shirt he was going to golf in. They fit his strong lithe body to perfection. His biceps, though not overly muscular since he was a pitcher, bulged from under the cuff of his shirt sleeves. His hat was backward and his sunglasses had been pushed up onto his head while he was inside. He hadn’t shaved that morning and a slight stubble covered his face.

He looked so fucking sexy.

I have always known Ethan was hot. But this felt different. Knowing in just over a week he would be making love to me was making me look at him differently. His kiss on my head had seared my skin and I wanted him to do it again.

It had to be some sort of mind trick. Some sort of deep subconscious that was attracted to him on a deeper level than friendship simply because I knew he was going to be my first.

Still, it made me panic. Maybe Ethan was right, maybe I would have a hard time separating my emotions after we had sex. I was prepared for things to be different between us but I didn’t want to lose him altogether.

I had to rethink this idea.

I had a decision to make.

???

“What is going through that gorgeous head of yours?” Ethan asked.

I had been thinking over our agreement for the last three days. I had wavered back and forth. Over and over. A part of me said “do it" and a part of me said “abort mission.”

“The same thing that has been going on in my head since we agreed you’d be my first,” I said as I looked over at him. “Conditions.”

We were on my couch, my feet once again resting in his lap. He had just gotten through playing a game and decided to come over. He hadn’t stayed the night since our agreement, but I wasn’t surprised when he showed up tonight.

Something was changing.

The air was changing.

We both felt it, I was sure of it.

He didn’t say as much, but I imagined he was soaking up as much best friend time as possible before it all changed for good. The closer it came, the more real it got.

“What conditions?” He asked, squeezing my foot to get my attention back.

“I think, after next weekend, I need to take a month before I see you again,” I said.

Ethan looked irritated and confused, his eyes narrowed in on me. “Why?”

“Not for anything bad. I just think it might help me separate the weekend from the rest of our lives.”

“Or we can cancel our plans and you can just be my virgin best friend forever.”

Now it was my turn to narrow my eyes at him. That wasn’t happening. If Ethan chickened out on me, I could accept that. But I was sure as shit not staying a virgin.

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