Page 74 of Javier

Always on him.

After last night, I was back to square one with him. Or perhaps I should say square zero, since every time I stepped forward, he took a step back. Even after he’d shown me pleasure the likes I couldn’t have imagined. He had shattered me with his mouth, shot me out of my body, and delivered me to a paradise I never knew existed.

I’d had an amazing release last night.

Orgasm. Call it what it was, I told myself.

What I’d felt. The way my body reacted. Affie’s stories paled by comparison. They’d had no real meaning to me, until last night, when pleasure left no part of me untouched, no doubts that Javier could command my body to feel, enjoy, and adore what I’d so clinically called the sexual act all these years.

There was nothing clinical about last night. It was all feeling and sensation, a whirlpool of emotions that found expression through raw, carnal pleasure. How had I not known a woman could feel like this before last night? How had I remained ignorant of the power of a man’s exquisite touch, of Javier’s sexy, capable mouth, driving me to ecstasy?

The stars above me had streaked across the sky when I came. I saw beyond them, into a universe that promised more bliss to the new me, the woman fascinated by the powerful sensations now real beyond my dreams, the sexual being thatblossomed at Javier’s touch.

When he was done, I’d felt like I’d been hit with a blast of dopamine that created an instant addiction, to his mouth, his touch, tohim. Even now, I felt empty. I missed his fingers sheathed inside of me, the thrusts that had set my heart’s pace.

He’d tasted me, but what did he taste like? How would his hard flesh feel in my mouth, or inside of me, encased between the hollow walls longing for his fullness?

I’d wanted to return the favor, but he’d left, abandoned me in that big empty bed. Had he given me oral just to get rid of me? Had he not liked me enough to continue? Had he found me unpleasant, inexperienced, boring?

I let out a sigh. Last night had been a fluke. Javier was determined not to engage with me. He wouldn’t budge and I didn’t have it in me to try to persuade him anymore. It was maddening. Depressing. Self-defeating.

It was not who I wanted to be anymore.

“Hello?” Pierre waved a hand over my face, grinning. “Ma chérie, where did you go just now?”

“Do not push her.” Gerard admonished his friend with a glare. “Let her think. Now that we’ve told her, it’s her decision.”

“Um…” I stared from one man to the other. I must’ve missed a lot of this conversation. Apparently, something important had happened. Both men were looking at me with great intensity, as if waiting for me. “Sorry,” I finally said. “What were we talking about?”

“Oh là là.” Pierre laughed. “How do you tease us,ma chérie. Evasion is sexy and we love your teasing, but we’d like to know where we stand in your… How do you say it?” He looked at Gerard and rolled a hand in the air.

“Graces,” Gerard put in, rasping his “G.” “We’d like to know what you think.”

“About what?”

“We just told you.” Pierre prodded me gently. “Gerard and I love traveling. When we travel, we seek adventure in all its forms. We see this as part of our explorations. We are always selective and safe, and we are, of course, always gentlemanly.”

“Gentlemanly?”What on earth were they talking about?

“Oui, mademoiselle.” Gerard nodded sagely. “You may be coy sometimes, playful and mischievous other times, but surely you’ve noticed our interest?”

“Your interest in…?”

“You.”

It hit me then. What they wanted from me. I’d felt the vibes all along and had not discouraged them. I’d even flirted back a little—well, as best I could. I’d enjoyed the men’s attention, the tension behind the playful barter. The old Missy would’ve been utterly horrified by the next thought that popped in my head. In light of Javier’s stubborn rejection, had I kept my new friends around because I knew, deep down, that I may need a plan B?

I didn’t want to think of myself as being that devious, but maybe I’d done exactly that.

Holy Moly.

The new me was much more resourceful than the old me, more astute and apt to play the games I’d never played before. And she was good at it. Fast, too, considering I’d only known these men for a few days.

I contemplated the men sitting before me. The word “opportunity” might as well be tattooed on their foreheads. Given Javier’s unavailability, I had to consider their offer, but then again…

“You mean, like, both of you?” My voice cracked a little. “At the same time?”

“If you wish it so.” Gerard nodded, and I fought to close my mouth. “It is very fun,ma chérie,and we’ll strive to make itamazing for you.”

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