Page 117 of Javier

“I’d follow you to the pits of hell if you went there,” I murmured, remembering his face hovering above me, as if it had all just happened yesterday and not three long years ago.

“When you said that, Nix’s smile widened.” She paused before she continued. “Then he said the weirdest thing, exactly the kind of thing my brother would say. Do you know what it was?”

I couldn’t push the words out. “You say it.”

“You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you, Marine,” Missy repeated those fateful words, stabbing at my heart. “I see a new, brilliant dawn on your horizon. You can’t miss the best part of your life. I’m gonna love the next episode.”

Holy fucking shit.

Those were the very words Phoenix Astor had said to me on that fateful day. I’d been in and out of consciousness, and I’d never understood exactly what he meant, but now, watching the first rays of the sun illuminating Missy’s face, I wondered if he’d somehow known that, one day, after making love to Missy, I would see the sunrise reflecting in his sister’s stunning eyes.

I cleared my voice of all emotion. “What happened then?”

“A warm breeze blew through me and I felt Nix’s presence very near.” She shrugged. “Then I woke up.”

I struggled to keep my mouth closed. “YoufeltNix’spresence?”

“I know. Weird, right? Toward the end of the dream he stood on a golden desert, alone in an endless expanse.” Her throat rippled. “His grin beamed on me. It was as if he somehow knew that the two of us were together and he was smiling down on us from heaven.”

The brick stuck in my throat wouldn’t budge.

“Javi?” Orange flares lit up her irises. “Tell me the truth, please. You said you worked for Dash, but did you also work for Nix, you know, before he died?”

“I…” More bricks piled up on my chest. “I… yeah.” All the air rushed out of my lungs. “I worked with Nix. I was part of his unit, before…”

I couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Can you tell me what happened, that day, when you were wounded?”

Shit.

I braced my elbows on my knees and held my head between my hands. This was it. After last night, after all the progress I’d made with Missy, after deceiving myself with a sense of hope, it was crash and burn for me. She’d hate me as soon as I told her. Misery would return, the only companion to my lonely nights.

No more Missy. No more lovemaking. No more smiles. She would hate me forever. I deserved her hatred, her rejection, her repulsion. And still, it was hard to give her up.

Settling a hand on my shoulder, she prodded me gently. “Well?”

“I… I can’t…” I turned into a stammering idiot. “I… I haven’t been able to talk about this shit to anyone for a while.”

“Can you please try?”

I wished she hadn’t asked. When she said please, I had to try, and if I succeeded, this new, amazing bond between uswould burn to ashes and blow away in the wind.

You knew this would happen, Marine. You’ve known all along.

I owed her the truth.

“Your brother was my commanding officer,” I pushed the words out, staring at my hands. “I should’ve told you this upfront.”

“You were with him when you got hurt,” she offered, and it wasn’t a question. “Those scars, on your back. They happened while you were in battle with Nix.”

“Yes.” That was the easiest part to admit to.

She gathered her breath and met my eyes. “Were you with him when he died?”

“I…” She’d seen that day in her dreams. Lying was no longer an option. “Yes and no.”

“Can you tell me more about it?”

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