Page 122 of The Glass Girl

Josh presses his shoulder tighter against mine.

“I feel like Billy is winning the trauma-dump contest at the moment, anyway,” I say to change the subject from me. “Anyone else? Josh?”

Josh stirs beside me. “No. I’ve got nothing. My life is pretty much picture-perfect. Parents love each other. They love us. Two cats and a dog. A pool. Lot of food in the fridge. Fancy private school.”

Wait, that can’t be true. He said something about “busted faces” on the hike, and it seemed like it was a family thing. Why would he lie?

Maybe he’s like me, and there’s something he doesn’t want to share.

“No,” Billy says. “There has to be something. Something that made you fuck up so bad you somehow ended up here.”

Josh shakes his head. In the moonlight, his face is pale and soft, smooth. His hair is perfectly cut to look that messy. I believe him about the fancy rich part.

For a minute, my brain says:Why would someone likehimlike someone likeyou?

My heart says:Just shut up for once and enjoy this starry night and handholding, will you?

He takes a deep breath, like he’s remembering something glorious and beautiful, and he says, “No drama for me. I just really, really, really love getting high.”

A hush falls over the group and we’re quiet for several seconds until Gideon says softly, “Yeah. Absolutely yes to that. One. Hundred. Percent.”

A peal of laughter comes from the group of staff members.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” I ask.

“Us,” Brandy says.

Gideon and Billy giggle.

“They’re obsessed with us,” Josh says. “Obsessed, I tell you. They can think of nothing else.”

We all laugh. It feels good to laugh.

“Come on, Bella,” Billy says, “give us something, anything, if you can’t talk about that video.”

Before I can stop myself, because I’m feeling such a rush of warmth inside from the laughter and being out here witheveryone, like I havefriendsor something, I say, “I held my grandmother in my arms as she died.”

There’s a brief, stunned silence, until the guy whose name I can’t remember suddenly howls with laughter, his whole body shaking, falling backward onto the cold ground.

Brandy is laughing so hard tears are running down her face.

“I mean, it’s not really funny,” I say, even as I kind of start laughing a little. “It wasn’t at that time, anyway. Or now, to be honest. We used to drink together.”

That just makes everyone scream harder.

“Oh, Jesus,” Billy says, wiping tears from his eyes. “I hate this goddamned life so much.”

While they’re all still hysterical, and not paying attention to us at all, Josh buries his face in my neck, just for a second, long enough to let his mouth rest there, and then he just as quickly brings his head back up again.

—

I can still feel it, hours later, back in our room.

A mouth-shaped warmth on my skin.

Day Nineteen

Dear Amber,

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