Page 82 of Promise Me Not

I nod. “He’s…angry.”

Something softens on Chase’s face, and slowly, he shakes his head.

“Nah. He’s not angry. Trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of that a couple dozen times.” His chuckle is light but as heavy as the sigh that follows. “This is different. I was hoping he just needed a break, to forget about all the pressure he puts on himself. You know it’s half the reason Ari demanded we all come this weekend, right?” He looks my way. “Noah bought her a plane ticket originally, but she wanted to get Mase off campus for a bit. Group shit and game nights usually do the trick.”

I swallow, hoping he doesn’t notice.

“I can imagine it would.” I nod, a fragile smile pulling at my lips. “You know, I never had a game night before I met you guys, and now it’s like a regular thing. I find I look forward to it.”

“No?” He frowns slightly. “What did you do with your friends on nights in?”

Bitterness coats my tongue. “I didn’t exactly have any that lasted beyond elementary school. My mother’s bullshit was too much for most, and if the girls my age didn’t care, their parents did.”

Chase nods. “Okay, so what about you and Deaton?”

I wait for the sharp pain of guilt at the mention of his name to slice through me, but it never comes. In fact, that never happens when I talk about him with Chase. It’s…nice.

I can’t help but wonder if it’s because being with Chase doesn’t overpower my thoughts the way a certain someone seems to without even trying.

I consider his questions, thinking back to the days he and I spent together, and a small frown builds when I come up blank. It shouldn’t be such a difficult question, right?

We were in a relationship. That should say it all, so why am I drawing a blank?

He’d come to me when he couldn’t stand to be at home, and I would do the same, which was often for both of us. Angry, sad, or lonely, we’d seek each other out.

Pressure builds in my chest, and I shake my head at the way that sounds. As if we were nothing but the stability and support the other craved. A product of convenience. We weren’t.

Right?

What did we do when we hung out?

Faintly, I answer, “I don’t know. Talk shit about our families, play on our phones.” A small smile tugs at my lips, and I look his way. “Make babies apparently.”

Chase laughs at that, his head falling back slightly, and he shifts to face me better. “Apparently.”

My smile holds, and I nod. “He was a good guy. Kind and gentle. Never pushed or picked fights. Yeah.” I pause. “He was good.”

“He must have been.”

I look to Chase, and he continues. “You loved him, so he must have been.”

We stare at each other a moment.

“You’re worth someone’s love, too, you know.” I take a breath, adding the second part in a low tone. “She just wasn’t the one meant to love you back.”

Surprisingly, his lips pull into a smile. “I know.”

“Are you sure?”

Chase chuckles, slowly pushes to his feet, and moves for the door. “Trust me. I’m sure,” he says, glancing my way with a lookI can’t quite decipher. “I’d better head in. I’m behind the wheel tomorrow for Brady.”

I nod but don’t rise, and Chase smiles softly.

“Good night, Princess Payton.”

I meet his eyes in question, and his mouth pulls to one side.

“It’s better than Princess Puke,” he jokes, and a tired chuckle escapes.

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