Page 8 of Tiers of Joy

“Let me ring the estate agent and see what the situation is. You need to look into the visa thing as well and laws on buying a property over there. This isn’t an instant decision Esme. Don’t panic, okay? We will take it one step at a time.” She comforts.

I nod and breathe a sigh of relief. I can do one step at a time.

Sally checks the time difference and calls the estate agent. I sit holding Jays letter, tracing his writing with my fingers. God, I miss him so much it hurts.

Sally comes back in after being on the phone. Her eyes are alight with excitement.

“So it’s been empty a while; the family moved states. The estate agent said it’s in a prime high street location! There is no other bakery in town apart from the counter in the large supermarket which is two towns over. She said she will email you the paperwork, and also all of the contacts you need to get in touch with for your visa.” Sally says, bringing up my email inbox. There is the email from the estate agent.

“She said it could take a few months to go through but you can place an offer now if you’d like?” Sally asks.

I shake my head.

“No, I need to think some more. Bookmark it for me and I will look later. I'm going to bed. Do you mind seeing yourself out?” I ask as I pick up the laptop, the letter, and the wine.

“It’s 6pm Esme.” Sally points to the clock.

“I know but I'm tired.” I say as I walk upstairs. I just want to be alone and shut everything and everyone out.

Sally doesn’t say anymore. I hear her leave and curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep.

I awake to the room covered in darkness. I switch on the lamp and see it’s 1am. I read through Jay’s letter again and again.

“How am I supposed to be happy without you?” I ask the empty room.

I sigh and open my laptop. There on the screen is the bakery. I lay staring at it for I don’t know how long.

“Fine Jay, you win. I will try but I’m not making any promises.” I say before picking up my phone.

I call the estate agent and bite my thumbnail nervously, waiting for her to pick up.

“Hello?” She answers cautiously.

“Umm hi, I'm Esme. My friend rang earlier about the shop.” I state.

“Oh yes, I'm Cassie. It’s good to speak with you. Sorry, it’s late here. I don’t normally get calls after eight.” She says. I hear her moving around.

“Oh god, I am so sorry! I didn’t even think about what time it is there. Have I woken you?” I apologise.

“No, no. You caught me just before I was taking myself off to bed. Did you want some more information? I can ask my son to help me do a virtual tour of the place tomorrow if you’d like?” She offers kindly.

“The video would be great, but the reason I'm calling is because, well, I’d like to take the place. I'm happy to pay the asking price too.” I breathe out. My heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest.

“Oh yes. Yes of course, that will be fine. Let me email you the forms you need to fill in. If there’s anything else you need help with please just give me a ring. I will be in touch soon.” She says excitedly.

“Speak soon. Thank you Cassie.” I say before disconnecting,

“Well I did it, are you happy now?” I sigh.

The laptop pings with the email. I click it open and fill in the form. I watch the mouse hovering over the send button.

“Fuck it.” I breathe out and click send.

I just lay in the dark, unable to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about the bakery, about Jay, and wondering how the hell I’m going to do this on my own without him by my side.

Over the next few days I contact the people on the list to get the ball rolling. Our house is rented so I have no worries about having to sell it. I start by selling lots of my furniture. I’m left with a chair and the bed. I know it’s going to take a few months to all go through, but I figured I may as well start.

Now there is just Jay’s things to go through. I can't do it on my own so I call Sally.

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