Page 109 of Tiers of Joy

Amy gives me a nudge with her elbow.

“Sorry.” I whisper.

Ambrosia stands and holds her arms out wide.

“Yes, yes! I can feel the soul of this building. It’s calling for my love, for my chakra.” She sings and hugs a wall.

I turn to Amy and nod my head.

“Armpits!” I hiss.

Ambrosia has full under arm hair; she’s like a really hairy man.

“Um Ambrosia, I hope you don’t mind me commenting on it but I noticed your underarm hair.” I point out.

“Oh yes, I don’t ever shave or remove any hair. That is what mother nature intended. I don’t use any products either, only water and my own musk.” She beams.

I stand up.

“Well that’s all for now Ambrosia, if you are lucky enough to get the position, we will be in touch.” I say as I walk towards her and open the door. I get a whiff of her scent and it makes me gag.

“Oh lord, there’s the musk.” I say, gagging again.

“I do hope you’ll give me the opportunity to work here. I have my own natural oils I could sell too, I made them from my body.” She breathes, handing me a bottle of what I can only assume is piss.

“Right. I’m sorry, nope. This is not happening. We have a hygiene standard to upkeep here. On your bike chewy.” I say pinching my nose and throwing the bottle out of the door.

She huffs and runs out after her bottle of piss. I slam the door and immediately go to wash my hands.

“So who’s next?” I ask, walking back to the table and sitting down.

“Um, Mr Richard Stroker. He’s forty-five and retired from the military.” Amy says reading off his application.

There’s a knock and Amy goes to great him as I pour a cup of tea.

“Esme, this is Mr Richard Stroker.” Amy introduces.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. Please take a seat.” I gesture.

“Please call me dick.” He says whilst sitting down.

I choke on my tea and start coughing and spluttering. Amy pats my back.

“You okay Esme?” She asks concerned.

“Yup, totally fine.” I cough.

“Sorry, err, Dick Stroker. I swallowed it the wrong way.” I cough and nearly combust with laughter.

“Don’t apologise, it happens. Please just call me Dick, or Major Dick, if you prefer.” He says smiling.

I can’t contain it any longer; I burst into fits of giggles. I can see Amy fighting her laughter.

“Is she alright?” Dick asks.

“Oh yeah, she is um…just emotional, you know, being pregnant. Her hormones are all over the place.” Amy states, clearing her throat and keeping a lid on her laughter.

“Ah I see, my wife was a bit emotional with ours. She said that holding her Dick tightly in her arms would always make her feel better.” He smiles.

---