Page 43 of Tiers of Joy

“Cool. The red team?” I ask.

“The blue team.” He corrects.

“I went ice skating once. I wasn’t very good, couldn’t even skate holding on the side. I slipped over and split my jeans.” I say, nibbling my thumb nail.

“Doesn’t surprise me.” He answers,

We sit in awkward silence for a while longer. I tap my foot anxiously.

“Esme?” He asks.

I spin round to face him, curling my legs under me.

“Okay. Just let me get this off my chest. Please don’t interrupt me because I'm trying to get my words out without messing it up or making you mad.” I rush out and pause, waiting for him to answer.

“Well?” I ask.

“You said not to interrupt.” He states.

“Right. Anyway what I’m saying is, I liked us kissing. I did. It was nice. You’re a good kisser.” I say. His lips twitch, fighting a smile.

“You're right though, it shouldn’t have happened. You are with Amy and she’s a nice girl. I mean, it wouldn’t make it okay if she were a bitch but we probably wouldn’t feel so bad about doing it.” I say not looking at him. I focus on the top of his t-shirt instead.

“The final thing is, I'm not ready for any of that yet. Well, I don’t think I am.”

“You don’t think?” He interrupts.

“Shh, don’t interrupt me. I just don’t know. I mean it was the anniversary yesterday. That makes me an awful person, like a total slut bag. Shouldn’t there be this massive sign that says ‘you're ready to move on’. I know I'm crazy but I still love Jay. I don’t know when I will stop loving him, and that’s not fair on you or anyone, right?” I ask.

“Esme, look at me.” He demands.

I look at him.

“I enjoyed the kiss too, a lot actually. I think when the time comes and you’re ready, you will know. You shouldn’t feel guilty for moving on. Now as much as I liked our kiss, I’m with Amy and I'm not the cheating kind. You will find the right guy one day. You’ll be happy again Esme.” He states.

I give him a small smile and hold out my hand.

“Friends?”

“Friends.” He smiles and shakes my hand.

We sit there a moment longer until I get an idea.

“Do you have any baking stuff? Flour, eggs, etc?” I ask excitedly.

He smiles.

“I have some, yeah. I’m not sure what’s in date.”

“Yes!” I jump from the sofa and run into the kitchen.

I run back into the lounge.

“Do you mind if I do some baking?” I ask.

Gaige laughs and shakes his head.

“Knock yourself out.”

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