Page 129 of Tiers of Joy

“Beautiful, if I had known you were this competitive I would’ve suggested a private class.” Gaige laughs shaking his head.

“I’m not competitive. I just like taking down a snotty nosed cow every now and again.” I smile.

The next part of the class is to try a different way to calm a baby. This time though, because the dolls don’t actually cry, our partners are asked to pretend to be babies.

Some really go for it, even kicking their legs. I mean really, someone get these guys an Oscar.

Next up it's our turn. Gaige rolls his eyes at me and pretends to scream, putting very little effort into it. I have the giggles watching him which of course makes Gaige laugh.

“Now come on, what would you do to calm the baby?!” The teacher says, getting ratty with us.

“You really want us to play out how I would calm the baby?” I ask.

“Yes, that is the whole point in this exercise.” She huffs.

“Fine.”

Gaige pretends to cry. I pat his back as if winding the baby, pretend to check his bum, and then finally I pull aside my top and press Gaige’s face to my bra covered boob.

The whole class is silent.

“What? Burp it, change it, feed it.” I state.

“To be fair, I’m with babies on this one. This calms me right down.” Gaige smiles, snuggling into my breast. I roll my eyes and smile.

“For goodness sake! What are you doing?!” The teacher exclaims.

“Pretending to breast feed. I have a bra on because I’m not about to actually breastfeed my boyfriend, that’s sick.” I state disgusted.

“I said to practice calming the baby.” She sighs.

“Listen lady, I don’t know about you but I’m following your guidelines here. I’m not about to try and pick him up because that would be bloody stupid. If you want me to shove my nipple in his mouth and pretend to breast feed him then you are all sick mother effers that need to get a reality check.” I snap.

Gaige helps me off of the floor.

“You can all go and kiss my fat pregnant behind. We are raising our baby the American and British way. Wing it all the way and always make sure the fridge is stocked with beer and wine.” I state as we head towards the door.

“That sounds about right. Parents like that raise those little shits who will end up on the world’s most wanted list.” Melanie tuts.

I turn around and face her.

“Kiss my arse Melanie. Oh, and your husband has been shagging the teacher, I heard them in the closet.” I smile and walk off, flipping them off as I go.

“You ever take me to a class like that again and I will never give you head again.” I threaten.

“Now that’s a threat I need to be scared of.” Gaige smirks.

We head straight to the airport to pick up Sally. We will arrive early but can grab some lunch while we’re there.

I smile to myself and think back to the moment I met Gaige. God I thought he was such a dick when in reality he is anything but that.

At the airport we head to a pizza place and sit and eat. It’s so strange watching the people rush by to catch their flights, the people waiting at arrivals for their loved ones, family members hugging each other goodbye. It’s full of the best and worst emotions.

“You enjoying yourself people watching?” Gaige smiles.

“Sorry I completely zoned out. I love people watching, especially in an airport. I mean look at this family for example.” I say pointing to a large family hugging their young son goodbye.

“What about them?” Gaige shrugs.

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